6 years later
by stardustfaerie87
Summary: 6 years later after Breaking Dawn... Nessie learns about a secret that her mother and her imprint jacob have, they all move to elkins where they meet a boy, is their secret in jeapordy? how will this effect their lives? plz read and review!
1. Chapter 1

_Crunch crunch crunch…_

Charlie walked noisily beside me, stepping on the crunching leaves that had fallen all through August and September. My steps were always much, much quieter despite the surrounding leaves . We were on our way to Jacob's house, and normally I would run -really run- but grandpa insisted he come with me so he could see his old friend Billy. It was chilly out, and grandpa needed his jacket, but I was still fine in the cold. Since I was full grown, mom and dad insisted I stay with Charlie for a few days, to spend some quality time with him, and Aunt Alice decided to come along too, but she went out "hiking" this morning, and wouldn't be back until about 7.

6 years ago, my Jacob and I imprinted on each other and even though I was a baby, all Jacob wanted was for me to be happy. He was my "nanny", he was my best friend, he was my crush, and only recently had mom and dad decided to let me start dating him. Technically , I wasn't really 6 years old now, but I rapidly grew from baby to adult in that short amount of time- being a half vampire, half human had its kicks. One of the only draw-backs were that I had to eat people food while I was here… but I suppose I could go hunting with Jacob on our date tonight- he _was_ supposed to take me to dinner.

"Don't stay out too late tonight…" Charlie started some small talk.

"Umm, how late is too late?" I asked in innocent, sweet voice. Grandpa shrugged wordlessly. I would just have to use my better judgment, but daddy would know where I was and what I was doing, I would just have to be close enough for him to read my mind, or me to simply touch his cheek… soon enough we were at one of my favorite person's house and I ran straight to the door- forgetting I was supposed to keep my supernatural abilities to a minimum in front of grandpa, so as not to freak him out. Oops! Before I even had to knock Jake opened the door for me and threw me into a bear hug. Something that might crush a normal human, but it felt nice to me. He pressed his warm lips against my cool cheek and I forgot to breathe for a second. He almost shut the door after letting me in before he even noticed Charlie, but once he saw him he held the door open with a wide grin on his face.

"I'll let Billy know you're here!" he let Charlie inside, and I plopped down on my favorite spot on his couch. Charlie stood by the door waiting, and looking slightly uncomfortable at how I made myself at home.

"How long did you want to stay grandpa?" I asked curiously, depending on his answer Jacob and I might want to go sooner than later.

"Just a few minutes, maybe I'll ask Billy if he wants to go fishing..." Jacob was back in a moment wheeling his father in on his worn out wheelchair.

"That thing is going to collapse under you one of these days!" I observed. Everyone laughed except Charlie.

"Quit bugging me 'bout my wheelchair!" he tried to make himself sound grumpy, but it was obvious the way he tried to hold back his smile. He was used to me being here, because Jake and I were almost always together somewhere, and thankfully Billy was fully aware about imprinting and completely accepted it. He then turned his attention to the man standing oddly by the door.

"It's nice to see you! It's been a while." After Charlie learned about the strange happenings here in Washington, he had to force himself over here- he came less and less but today he brought himself over finding that he missed the Blacks. "And how about this sunshine! It's a good day for fishing…" Billy trailed off suggestively and Charlie started to loosen up while they grabbed some fishing poles and tackle boxes and silly looking fishing hats that you saw on TV when old men went out to the lake to catch their dinner.

Jacob sat down next to me on the couch and put his arm around my shoulder. My heart leapt.

"So, what did you want to do for dinner today? We can go wherever you want." He kindly offered. I lightly set my hand onto his cheek. Instead of talking I often just "showed" people what I wanted. In our minds was the memory of us running together in the woods, chasing after some elk and deer in the woods. And to go along with that, a touch of human food for dessert- petit gateau- my favorite. If I had to eat human food, that would be my pick. He chuckled at that. It was about 6 when grandpa and I got here, and it had only been a few minutes, so we were going to go out soon. That was good. I needed to talk to him about something.

"So what would you rather have first?" he was still smiling and I showed him again the picture of blood and he nodded. Not that he would be drinking the blood, just eating the meat- but that's part of why it was so easy to hunt with him. We didn't have to waste much. I knew though, that eating the meat raw was not one of the tastiest things he liked to eat, but he would rather take me someplace he knew I really wanted 

to go. He stood up and held his hand out for me. We were ready to leave before grandpa and Billy were, since we didn't need much to bring along. Charlie seemed to notice that.

"Bye grandpa, bye Mr. Black. We'll be back later." I smiled pleasantly and Billy nodded in approval, Charlie shot us a wary look. Had anyone tried to explain to him what imprinting was? Was it a good idea to? Lucky Jake- his dad was all in the know.

Instead of running to the woods, we walked slowly (human slow) to the woods, holding hands all the way, trying to make my heart take even beats, and never accomplishing so. His touch was so warm against my slightly cooler-than-average temperature. I wasn't quite as cold as a real vampire, but not as warm as a human.

"Tell me something…" I started "what do you do during the day, when I'm not with you?" I looked at his perfect face while he thought. For a second I forgot I asked anything.

"Hmmm, well, I run a lot… sometimes I hang out with Quill, or Embry and work on cars. But I think about you most of the time." he looked back up to me and smiled. I wrapped my other hand around his arm to hold him closer to me.

"I have another question." I tilted my head to the side a little, but this time I didn't look at him when I asked. "You're not going to age are you?" my grip on his hand tightened a little.

"Not unless I stop phasing, for a long time." he answered what I knew he would. I already knew that. He knew I knew too, so he cocked his head to the side, probably wondering where this was going.

"So we can be together for a long time?" I asked. He looked again at me with an adoring smile. Little bumps rose against my skin and I smiled myself.

"As long as you want." He promised me. I nearly dropped right there. How lucky was I that I got to have such a perfect creature all to myself?

"Then, I was thinking… well, I think we have to move soon. Carlisle can hardly pass to be any older and daddy says some of the nurses are beginning to notice that in around 8 years he hasn't changed much." I started talking a little too fast, "we'll probably move to another rainy place…" I stopped and looked him in the eye. I was very serious now, and I spoke slowly and carefully. "You're coming with us. Right?" he almost looked confused.

"I wouldn't be able to stay away!" he laughed. Here I had been, so worried that I might have to go somewhere without him! I pushed him a little.

"It's not really that funny…" I scolded, but I was actually relieved.

We got to the forest and began hunting right away. Sadly, I could only find elk- not the most appetizing of them all, but at least it was something. I drank until I felt full and we ran back out to the edge of the forest to walk again. Jacob and I headed back to my house for the petit gateau. They don't sell that dessert in Washington- or the rest of the United States, for that matter, instead they have molten lava cakes. It's just not as good. But Aunt Alice, the genius she was knew how to make the perfect desserts. Once I was born she tried to learn how to make every dessert she could for me. She was probably back from hunting and she must have seen by now with her ability that Jake and I were coming to ask, and must have started making us some already. Petit gateau, simple as it was, was just a brownie, with melted fudge inside, with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and a strawberry on top. When your spoon cuts through the layer of brownie, fudge spills out onto your plate, and even though it's not as appetizing to me as it might be to other humans, I still enjoyed eating it very much.

Sure enough, Jacob and I could smell the sweet fragrance of freshly baked brownies from at least 3 miles away. We ran to it. Although- Jake stayed human so I had to run slower for him.

Alice gave us some privacy while we devoured our desserts. Although she watched us take the first bite, just to make sure she did an alright job. Of course, it was delicious. And it really only took seconds for us to eat it. Alice, over the years had grown fond of Jacob, I was fairly sure they considered each other friends. They acted as though they had known each other for a long time. Kind of how like close cousins were. She, like Billy, was all for my relationship with Jacob.

After dessert, we sat on the old couch in the living room to watch a movie, but we set the volume low and talked instead of watching.

"Jacob," I rested my head against his shoulder and took a deep breath. "When we move, will you start high school with me? maybe you could pass for junior… _maybe_ sophomore…" then I giggled, I hadn't gone to school anywhere yet, because I had still been growing, so mom and dad, but mostly daddy homeschooled me. I was so excited "we could pretend to me normal, and you could be my boyfriend!" Jacob laughed.

"Who wants to be normal?" he laughed again. "And I _am_ you boyfriend!" he smiled and kissed me on the cheek. My heart started humming-even faster than normal- and I was sure he could hear it. There was something about his skin when he touched me that acted as a reactor to my heart. But regardless of my excitement I started worrying.

"If I go to school with normal humans, will they like me?" my brows furrowed together "what if they think I'm weird?" I bit my lip.

"Weird, Renesmee?" he chuckled, "everyone is going to love you, I think I'm going to have to fight to keep my current position with you! You're elegant, beautiful, witty, and extremely kind." he tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear, and I blushed a deep red. Then I realized something else.

"If I start going to school, are mom and dad going to be in my grade?!" I jumped up, as much as I loved my parents, wouldn't that be strange? What would we say to people at school? _This is my sister Bella and my brother in law Edward._ But mom and dad seem too young to be married… are they just going to be boyfriend/girlfriend? This was just too weird.

"Calm down, it'll be okay! I'll be there, and so will Alice, jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie. It'll be kind of like a game. We'll all have our little secret. You and I can make the rest of the Cullen's look more normal."

"I guess so…" I sat back down, but instead of on the couch I snuggled up in Jacobs lap. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

"Jacob?" I asked again. My voice trembled slightly from his touch

"Hmm?" he acted as though I distracted him from something he was thinking of.

"Do you love me?" I could feel heat on the sides of my face. I turned my head to see his; it was humored and thoughtful.

"Yes. I love you." My heart fluttered, but I turned back around and stared at the TV, knowing that he could hear the unsteady beats. And I knew it was true, Jacob couldn't lie to me, even if he wanted to- which he didn't. Daddy told me that- he would know.

"Good. 'Cause I love you too." I could almost hear him smile. We watched the movie in silence, but it was hard to concentrate. I just listened to the sound of his even breathing, loving the feel of his warm skin against mine. It was like sitting in front of a fire, in the middle of winter. He was kind of like a space heater- making me warm and tingly all over. It wasn't like that was the first time we had ever said this to each other though, all throughout my life it was an exchange that we used often. But it was always more in a friendly way, or a parent to a child. Now it felt different. More like it was to two people _in _love. This moment felt perfect, I just wanted him to hold me there forever, to keep me warm and love me and never leave me. Should have known I jinxed it. Right then grandpa turned the doorknob, and just before he opened the door I quickly moved back into my original position on the couch. Nothing to see here- just two people sitting on the couch side-by-side watching a movie. Jake and I both sighed in discontent.

"Hey kids." Charlie greeted. I looked over and smiled a "hello" and watched him shove fish into the freezer.

"Bells, do you still have that one recipe for the fish? I don't make it as well…" Jake and I turned to look and just stared, wide-eyed at him, but his back was turned- looking for something to eat in the fridge. Then he started humming and Jacob and I glanced at each other.

"Grandpa?" he stopped what he was doing right then and turned around slowly. He flushed and mumbled an apology and something that sounded like "what's gotten into me?" I didn't know what had gotten into him.

"You know it's just cause… you look so much like her, and sitting right there on the couch with him." what was that supposed to mean. With him? "Wasn't so long ago." … maybe this wasn't a story I had heard yet. I raised an eyebrow at Jacob. He was fully aware that he would need to give me an explanation for this. Soon. He forced a laugh, and so low, that grandpa couldn't hear, he whispered in my ear.

"I promise I'll tell you later." My heart raced with him so close.

_Ring ring…. Ring ring…_

Charlie snatched the telephone from the receiver just before the third ring.

"Hello? Oh yes… yeah, I'll tell him… already? Okay, well… but he didn't bring a car… oh!" Jacob probably thought he was saved by the bell. "Alrighty then… talk to you later… yeah, goodnight." Charlie turned to Jacob.

"Alright kiddo- time for you to go home. Billy just told me to tell you to walk… want a ride or something" grandpa scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

"Nah, I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow." He said goodbye to Charlie but I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet. I walked out the door with him to say goodnight privately.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" I asked, sad that he had to go now. I could see he didn't want to leave either.

"Don't you always?" He smiled and gave me another bear hug, he pulled back, but only part way to see my face. Still holding me close, he whispered to me.

"I love you." He leaned in to kiss my cheek, as always, but I lifted my hand and turned his head so he would kiss my lips. He held me even tighter and I closed my eyes. I could feel his warm lips against mine- ever so lightly and soft. Moving so perfect together, and even though we had never kissed before, it seemed as though we were made for this. His lips felt like fire against mine, although they weren't burning. What a strange feeling. I could hear both our hearts pounding and our breathing increase. He ended the kiss- way too soon.

"Is this okay?" he asked me. Why wouldn't it be?

" Why would it be not okay?" maybe he didn't like it. I furrowed my brows together- I was confused.

"It's just that… you don't have to do anything for me… I don't want to rush you."

"You think you're rushing me? Jake… I love you, and I _know _that I'm going to be with you always.

"You're only 6! You don't have to do anything you're not ready for." was he really trying to convince me that _that wasn't_ right?

"You know I'm not really 6! I feel ready. Isn't that enough?" I lifted my hand up and caressed his face. "_That_ feels right to me. Doesn't it feel like you're supposed to be holding me?" I felt a little hurt. Like I was being rejected by the one person I never thought could. He leaned in to kiss me again, this time though, he held me tighter, and kissed me less lightly- which suited me just fine. I didn't want him to stop, and when he tried to pull away again, I put my arms around his neck and didn't let him. I could hear him chuckle. A few minutes went by and I finally allowed him to go. He never stopped smiling.

"One more thing!" I called after him. He stopped to look at me.

"Yeah?" he asked

"tomorrow- I want to know about what just happened with Charlie." His smile faded, and his heart stammered. That couldn't be good.

"Yeah… okay." He forced himself to smile as he turned away again.

I went back inside confused, but my heart was also singing to me. I started humming the theme to Cinderella. What had just happened made me feel like I was in some fairy tale, I felt like a princess. Charlie, who was now chewing some left-over pizza, watched me with curios eyes. I danced over to him and grabbed his arm, I pulled him out of his chair and made him dance with me. I knew grandpa was a pretty bad dancer, so I didn't make him move his feet, just kind of sway while I fancily spun and twirled. After a minute or two I let grandpa eat his dinner, and it was slightly amusing because he was at a complete loss.

"What happened out there?" Charlie asked while I started to giggle. I didn't answer, I just danced my way to the stairs laughing and singing all the way.

"Goodnight grandpa! I love you!" I ran up the stairs faster than human pace, but I was just so excited, I couldn't wait to talk to Alice.

I was sleeping in mommy's old room, with a small bed, a rocking chair in the corner and a really outdated computer. I wasn't sure it was even going to turn on. When I opened the door to this room, Alice was already inside. She probably already saw what happened in a vision. She jumped up from the bed and squealed.

"Oh my gosh! Renesmee!! Tell me everything!" her face was lit up and she was practically jumping from excitement.

"Well, I went out to say goodbye to him-"

"Yeah, yeah?!" she interrupted to ask. "Then what?!"I wondered why she was asking, she must have seen this in a vision. Saying what happened, I thought wouldn't have the same effect, so I rested my hand on her cheek and showed her instead. I replayed everything, even the part that confused me.

"Alice? I have a question. Something happened earlier with Charlie…" I remembered way back to the slip up in the kitchen, what Jacob had been so hesitant to say. That seemed like forever ago. I showed her that too.

"What is this?" I replayed the part where grandpa had said 'with him'. Her smile faded too. This was beginning to frustrate me. "Will you tell me?" I asked in a sweet voice.

"Well, I think that… that should be something to talk about with Bella and Jacob… and Edward…" she made a face. I would have to wait till tomorrow?! I pouted. "Oh come on Ness! Don't do that to me!" she was gone in an instant. All this evasiveness was killing me! Would no one tell me what was going on? I pulled out my cell phone from a drawer I tossed it in earlier, but something caught my eye. A picture. I pulled it out, and it was slightly dusty. It was a picture of my parents… but something was wrong. Momma looked… warmer. Her cheeks were pink, and her eyes looked like mine. She must have been human when this picture was taken. But there was something else that was wrong about the photo. Daddy looked… colder. Like someone just died. Or like he was in pain. Mentally. They looked uncomfortable. Like she knew he was sad. And she didn't know what to do. They weren't touching at all either. I was about to put it back but I noticed there was another picture stuck behind it. This one was nice. It looked right. Daddy was the only one in this picture- but he looked happy like he was looking at the most beautiful thing in the world. Mommy must have been taking the picture. This is how he was supposed to look. Complete. I compared the two pictures- glad that something else was occupying my mind for the moment. I looked on the back of the picture for the date. Strange… they were take on the same day… should have noticed- daddy was wearing the same clothes in the picture. Maybe tomorrow when I talked with Jake, dad and mom about what happened with Charlie, I could ask them about this too.

I tried to fall asleep, but it was hard with this tugging on my mind. I wished I had my warm wolf to cuddle up with…

An hour went by with no luck of sleep and I groaned in frustration. I walked over to the window- lit up by the moon. In Forks, the moon was often covered up by the clouds, so it was nice to see. I pushed the window open, and it complained and whined and squealed in protest. I would have to get some grease for that. I moved the rocking chair over to the window to watch the moon for as long as I could with my head resting on the back of the chair. I started to drift slightly. In the distance I could hear the howling of a wolf and I smiled lightly as I fell into a deeper, welcomed sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun came shining in my room and I awoke, dazed and slightly confused. I almost never woke to the sun, but a pearly sheet of gray clouds. Like last night had been to see the moon, this was nice. I looked at my arm to see it dimly glowing- not enough to scare anyone- just enough to look beautiful. Sometimes I wish I had my mother's skin. Glittering like diamonds and throwing rainbows every which way. I jumped out of bed with a light attitude, the way you want to feel when you wake up. Energized and happy. The right side of the bed. I was about to go take a shower and brush my hair and teeth- or as my parents said, "A human minute," but just as they had last night, the pictures of my parents caught my eye. Everything from last night came rushing back to me and I felt like a weight had been set on my fine morning. Suddenly the sun didn't seem as warm. I sighed in restlessness. Maybe a shower would lighten me up.

Hot water did the trick; I was feeling looser and fresher- at least until I got out of the steaming strands of water. I put on some clean clothes that aunt Alice had packed for me, not really looking at what I picked, and before I left the room, I grabbed the pictures and shoved them into my pocket.

Grandpa wasn't up yet, so I just slipped out the door quietly and ran as fast as I could to Jake's house. I had to knock this time, he probably was still asleep. For a second I thought about coming back later, he needed his sleep, but this was important. Billy opened the door and informed me of my suspicions.

"He had a late night last night." Billy said. I remembered the howling wolf I heard on my way to dreamland.

"That's alright, is it okay if I just stay here until he wakes up?" I had done this before and I knew he would be fine with that.

"Of course!" he smiled warmly and I stepped inside. I sat on the couch, about to grab a random book from the table, but Jacob walked into the living room yawning. He opened his eyes and they lit up as soon as they saw me.

"What are you doing here so early?" he looked at the clock and made a face. "Although it is very nice to see a face like yours when someone wakes up." He smiled warmer and I wanted to reach out and feel his warm hand in mine. Business first.

"Jacob, I need you to go somewhere with me." Alice said that I should discuss this matter with dad and mom and Jacob, so we needed to go home.

"Anywhere." I trapped him with his words- I knew it wasn't very nice- but they all were keeping something from me and I had every intention of finding out.

"We need to stop at my house." He didn't seem worried yet. Good sign.

"Did you forget something?" he asked. He thought I was talking about Charlie's house.

"No, no I need to go to the other house." I was trying to be careful, but he should get a fair warning.

"Oh… what for?" he titled his head to the side trying to connect the dots. I didn't want to worry him.

"Alice said that I should talk to you, mom, and dad, about what happened with Charlie last night…" his heart snagged and raced.

"Renesmee… I really don't think that that's the best idea." He was pleading to get out.

"Jacob! You promised you would tell me. Today! And you just said that you would go anywhere with me! What reasons do you have?" I stood and raised my voice a little. Billy, who was sitting in the kitchen eating his breakfast, turned his attention to the dispute.

"Ness, if we never told you, don't you think that that's reason enough?" this was something he really didn't want me to know. But I knew he couldn't lie to me. Or at least that's what I had thought. "I won't lie to you, but I just want you to be happy. And I really think that if you didn't know, you would be happier." He looked down, and then to his father. He looked away, embarrassed and continued to eat his food. Jacob said he would tell me if I made him. But now I was thinking twice about this. Would I really be happier not knowing? Happier, even if this would always be tugging on my mind? Was it that bad? Would the tugging worsen if I did know?

"I… I just feel like everyone has been lying to me. 6 years is a long time to hold a secret." I whispered.

"We never lied to you. You never asked anything about it."

"I think that… for now… I might… have to leave this for another time… I need to think about it. But I have to go anyway, there's something else I need to discuss with mom and dad." He looked so relieved. Maybe this tugging wouldn't be so bad with him here. At any rate, I still felt a little sour for having given in to his evasiveness.

"Thank you." He said. He smiled, but I could tell through his eyes that the worry still lingered there. How was it that I felt bad now? Why was Jake so easy to forgive? It had only been a moment, and yet, I felt no anger, just guilt

"Let's just go." I felt the pictures like a weight in my pocket and he and I headed out the door. Billy, eavesdropping as he was, heard it all and didn't even need to ask where we were off to.

"See ya" Billy called to us just before the door shut.

We ran in silence, as it would be in his wolf form, but I said nothing. We got there in a matter of minutes and he stopped in the woods to phase back and change into some clothes while I walked ahead. I heard daddy playing the piano inside- perhaps he heard me coming. Not perhaps, of course he knew. Alice must have warned him I was coming anyway. He was playing a sweet tune he composed for me as a baby and he had played it for me often when I was going to sleep.

Jake caught up with me and wrapped his hand around mine. I forgot he had no idea what I needed to talk to them about. When we got inside I saw mommy sitting on the piano bench watching daddy play, but she turned around once we came in and greeted us.

"Hey! So what brings you two here today?" momma acted as if she didn't know. Alice would have told dad, and dad would have told mom. She laughed nervously and brought us all into the dining room where we all held meetings and discussions. Jacob sat next to me and mom and dad sat across the table.

"So, I've been sleeping in your old room mom…" I told her. She probably thought as much.

"I know it's not the greatest room, but it always suited me just fine." Totally off subject. Words felt like too much of a hassle so I just stood up and walked over to them. I put both hands on either of their cheeks and showed them the pictures, the differences I noticed, and once I was done I pulled the real pictures out of my pockets. Before I thought of anything else about that night I started going through the ABC's in my head. I know- real subtle.

"What is this?" I put the pictures side by side. Mom and dad looked really uncomfortable.

"Well… what do you want to know? They're just pictures." Mom looked away- towards Jacob and he shot her a warning look. I wonder if they really thought I wouldn't notice.

"Does this have anything to do with… well… never mind… but why does daddy look so sad here? This is the same day- your birthday. Here he looks so happy. And here- you both… look so miserable. Like Alice just foretold your death or something" I tried especially hard not to think about what Charlie had said.

_With him_… crap! Soon enough daddy saw a whole replay through my mind. He shifted in his chair- and unusual and unnecessary move for him.

"Ness, Jake, could you give Bella and I a moment?" we nodded and stepped out of the room. We walked over to the couch next to the piano and sat. I didn't look at him or speak to him.

"Where did you find those pictures?" he asked. He really looked like he didn't know anything about them.

"I found them in a drawer." Short, blunt and to the point. I felt bitter and angry, and I was taking it out on hi,. There was the guilt again, but I tried not to let it show.

"Do you happen to remember the year? The year the pictures were taken?" he asked. Maybe he did know something, but it had something to do with mom's birthday?

"Yes, it was momma's 18th birthday." I saw his face turn white for a second, while his heart skipped around. There was definitely something about that year.

Just then, when I thought I was getting somewhere, mom and dad called us back into the room. They sure did discuss things quickly. We sat back down in the chairs we had been sitting in.

"Renesmee," my mother used my full name as she always did. I think in six years she never called me Nessie. "Are you really sure you want to know about these pictures here? It's long, and sad." Daddy kept on glancing towards Jacob.

"Jacob! Is this related to what grandpa said last night?" I yelled at him. "What happened on your 18th birthday mom?" the pictures were related somehow, either that, or there was more than one thing they were keeping from me. I came here thinking these pictures would be no big deal, just a simple explanation for them. "Jacob knows, I know you know, and its I know dad has something to do with it because of these pictures!" I was yelling at mom now, but I felt bad- she hadn't really done anything to deserve it. no one else had either.

"Could we have just another moment?" mom asked. Jake and I started to get up, but they motioned him to stay. This was so infuriating. I sat in the same spot on the couch, this time alone. It had to be all one thing they were keeping from me, and that's why they needed to discuss it with Jacob. They all knew something and those pictures were related. I rethought about what Charlie said. _With him_. Maybe… mom and dad fell in love before her 18th birthday; I knew that for sure, I had heard about it a number of times. But I never even thought to ask if anything happened after that. I just thought that they would be different, mom and dad. Their love seemed so pure, like nothing could come between them. _With him_. If they hadn't made such a big deal out of it, if Jacob's heart hadn't hitched when Charlie spoke those words, I would have just thought that Charlie meant they were friends, but I never heard the story of how they became friends. Had they become friends before or after mom and dad fell in love?

Daddy must have heard my mind wander, because that moment he called me back into the room.

"We'll tell you about these pictures." Mom declared. No one was smiling.

"Alright," I said, a little smug, thinking I had won, "let's start with the beginning of your 18th birthday."

"That morning… Alice planned a party for me… I hated parties…" she squinted a little as if she were looking through the dark, and occasionally looked up, as if she could see into her blurry, darkened memories to recall that day. "I was opening a present at their house… everyone was there…" now the pauses she took were deliberate and slow, instead of faulty memory. "I was still human, obviously, I was so clumsy…" she put her head down. I knew she couldn't blush, so I thought she was embarrassed, or sad, but I couldn't be sure. She pressed her fingers against her temples and thought. "I got a paper-cut." A paper-cut? In a house hull of vampires?

"Then what happened?" I asked, not quite so smug anymore.

"I… jasper?" I don't think she could remember anything else. Dad, sensing that, continued for her.

"Jasper had only been with us so long. Bella's blood was so different, special… he couldn't control it. I stopped him, but Bella got hurt." He took hold of mom's hand so gently I wondered if he thought she was made of thin glass, instead of stone-hard skin. "Alice had told me, before Bella loved me, that she only had one of two possible futures. For me to… for her to die, or for her to end up like this… I wanted that so much… but I couldn't take her life away from her. I… wouldn't… so I thought I could leave her." No way. No, no, that wasn't right. Something did happen after they fell in love…

"I never would have left if I hadn't thought that she would have been better off without this deranged world interfering with hers. She deserved a normal, happy, human life. Not being able to see into her mind then… I never knew 

how much, or even if she loved me too." I knew mom didn't remember everything about being human, but this obviously must have been amongst the worst of her memories.

"I told her I didn't love her." He laughed a humorless laugh- probably meaning to say that that was the most ridiculous thing he ever heard. "And then I left." Mom was staring off into space, lost in the dark of the awful recollection. "Six long, long month's later I got a call from Rosalie saying I could come home now, and that Bella wasn't there anymore. She said Alice had a vision that she was dead." He looked a little irritated. "Bella jumped off a cliff, but Jacob saved her… when I couldn't. I didn't know she was alive… I told her before though… I couldn't live in a world where she didn't exist. I ran off to Italy, so many ideas running through my mind of how to annoy the volturi. You remember them don't you? I knew they would kill me, they were so protective of their city." I remembered the volturi, though I was so young when they took a visit to this little town of Forks.

"I remember this part." mom said. "Edward wouldn't answer his phone to tell him I was alive, so Alice and I flew to Italy, I was so afraid I wouldn't make it in time. Alice said he kept changing his mind about what he was going to do, until he settled on simply walking into the sun… I was running, hoping that my human frailties wouldn't fail me then. The clock was so loud… I ran right into him before he stepped into the city square. He thought we were both dead." She laughed, and just like dad, it was without humor. Despite the fact the laugh was dry, it still sounded like bells and music. "I know the volturi wanted to kill us. But we settled on an agreement, that Edward would turn me into vampire. They were so impressed by my unique mind… I'm not sure what happened next, I was confused then. All I remember is seeing his face, wishing really hard that he wouldn't go away." they smiled, I knew that that had to be one of her happiest memories. "The next day, when I woke up, I thought I was dead, or that I was dreaming. He told me he loved me and that he felt the same as I had while he was gone. You want to know the reason I jumped off the cliff?" mom suddenly asked. Hadn't they said it was to commit suicide? Daddy shook his head even though I hadn't asked. "Whenever I did something reckless and dangerous, I would hear your daddy's voice in my head, and that day when I was drowning, I thought I could see him there. Because before he left he told me I had to try to be safe. I thought I had gotten literally insane that morning when I woke up." She stated, not really upset, and almost giddy. She wasn't proud was she?

"Momma? Did you know daddy was going away in this picture then?" I pointed to the sad picture. She must have known if she had been so sad. Daddy answered instead.

"She didn't know what I was going to do, but since that… incident… at my house, I knew I couldn't let her die… I was trying to be strong enough to leave. She knew there was something wrong. I was acting different, and she could tell. That's why we were both so upset…" wow. I was in shock. How could I have not known about this? Wow. Jacob and I walked home, while I was slightly dazed. I hardly said goodbye to him, which was much different from the last time we parted.

When I got inside I had realized I hadn't even left a note for Charlie. And it was already 12:00.

"Well hey Nessie, where've you been?" he asked, slightly concerned. He was in the kitchen, eating some of the fish he caught yesterday.

"Hello, I'm sorry, when I got up, you were still asleep. I didn't want to bother you. I stopped at home with Jacob, I just had to talk to mom and dad real quick." I explained, trying to keep my face normal, acting like nothing just happened.

"Real quick? What time did you get up? I've been up since 8!" he checked the clock quickly.

"Sorry I took so long. Grandpa… hey I'm not feeling so good, I think I'm going to go lie down upstairs." I hoped that he didn't know I didn't really ever get sick. Ever. Even if he did know, I think he would find it refreshing to be in the presence of human tendencies. I don't think he would mind. But I did need to lie down and let this all sink in.

First of all, all of that only answered the question about the pictures. Why would Jacob worry about Charlie saying _with him_? It must still have to do with timing. Maybe Jacob became friends with mom during the time that dad left and that's all they wanted to keep from me. Maybe they had only been friends when daddy was gone, so that if Charlie said they were ever anywhere together, it had to be anytime during the six months he wasn't there. But then, where was dad? This was all so confusing. Dad left mom.

How I wished it was night time. Despite the dreary skies it wasn't dark enough. At nighttime when I didn't have to do anything, just sleep the night away and miss the other half of the secret life my parents lived. My whole family lived. How much did I actually know about my parents. How could I miss something that was so big? I just wanted to fall asleep, and I hated sleeping during the day. I felt like I missed enough at night, so why should I miss even more during the day? How could mom have bared being human while dad could be off doing other things at night? Maybe I would ask him what he used to do. Did I want to know?

What was I going to do for the rest of the day now? I didn't feel like I would be able to focus on anything… I guess I could go back to Jacob's, but did he want to see me? After I yelled at him all day? Yes, he probably did.

"Grandpa? I'm going to Jacobs, I have my cell phone now, so you can just call me." I assured him.

"Sure, sure. See you later." He called absentmindedly while watching a football game on TV.

_Knock knock knock._

I made three quick rasps on the door and it was open in seconds. I really wanted to see Jake. My Jake. I felt so guilty about pushing him about telling me. I felt selfish and awful. And he warned me. When he opened the door I quickly pulled him into a hug, shoving my face into his warm chest.

"Why hello!" he said to me, a little shocked. I kept holding him tight, and in a moment he wrapped his arms around me too. "Are you alright?" he asked. I guess this was unusual behavior for me.

"I love you Jake." The sound of my soft voice was slightly muffled against his chest, but I knew he understood. He started playing with my hair and wrapping it around his finger.

"I love you too, Ness." I wondered if there would ever be a time that that didn't warm my soul.

"Want to go to a movie?" I asked. It had been so long since I went to the movies, and there was nothing that I really wanted to see, but in a theatre, Jacob could hold me and I could be with him for hours, not doing anything, no interruptions. Just him and me, and theatre full of people. Oddly enough though, it seemed like we had more privacy there then we ever did at home.

"Anything you want to see?"

"Not really. You?" maybe there was something playing, but I didn't watch a lot of TV so I hadn't seen previews for anything.

"Nope, but let's go anyway." He smiled, and I shivered, but not from the cold.

Watching movies was always interesting with Jacob. I had no other friends yet so I always went with him or someone else in my family if he was busy. Which was not often. We settled on watching a mystery/romance movie. But I wasn't paying attention to the name and I probably couldn't tell you what it was about. I just couldn't seem to concentrate, with currents of fiery warmth travelling through our bodies. The whole movie I wanted to kiss him and whisper that I loved him. And I wanted him to do the same. I wondered how he was feeling. Was he feeling the same currents and urges of warmth and energy and love? Something about the way he kept trying to hold me tighter made me think he did. What seemed to be too soon for a movie to be over, the lights flicked on and I looked around, a bit shocked. Why hadn't we realized that the credits had finished and everyone had already left? Oh- right, we had been staring at each other.

"Hmmm. I think that means it's time to go." He said sarcastically. I laughed.

"Oh, right, um. Well what do you want to do now?" I asked him. I didn't really want to go shopping, and it was still too early to say goodbye to him. And I didn't want to. I wanted him to stay with me.

"How about the beach? Or… maybe we could go to my house?" I couldn't really answer, I didn't know where I really wanted to go. Not home… and with my special hearing abilities I could hear tiny drops of rain against the roof of the theatre.

"Not the beach… it's raining! And… what time is it?" I just noticed that I had been out for god knows how long!

"It's only about 4. Do you think that Charlie would want to go fishing with Billy?" he asked suddenly.

"Well… duh." Of course he would. Jacob laughed, because he knew that too."Why do you ask?"

"Well, wouldn't you rather just have it be us alone?" that's exactly what I wanted. But just before we confirmed our plans, my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. I thought it would be Charlie, but it was dad.

"Hey dad! What's up?"

"What are you doing right now?" he asked, not in a worried o r angry way, just wondering.

"I just finished watching a movie with Jacob. Why do you ask?" I wondered, in a voice not rude, but again, wondering.

"I was thinking the both of you should come over again. I know you were just here, but I have some good news!" I loved news!

"Sure, hold on, I'll ask Jake." I turned my attention to Jacob, "is it alright if we stopped at home again for a second?" I asked him with a hopeful gleam in my eye. So of course he wouldn't say no.

"No problem, any particular reason?"

"Daddy says he has good news." I smiled even brighter, I was so excited. I thought about what it could be about for a quick second, and pressed the phone against my ear again.

"That's fine, we'll be over in a few minutes." Or hopefully faster if we could manage it. We were at the movies in Port Angeles, but we had run here, discretely walking out from behind a vacant building. In a car, riding at the speed limit, it might take an hour or two, but we ran faster than a car. Jacob running wolf while I ran next to him, and sometimes, if I was tired, he would carry me. But I loved the thrill of running. It was very exciting- who would want to miss a minute of it?

We got there in ten minutes. Might be record time for us, but with motivation, anything was possible. Again, as we came closer to the mansion that I lived in, the sound of my lullaby was in the air as we approached. I opened the door quickly, stepping inside and declaring our presence.

"We're here! What's the news?" I asked quickly.

"Sit, sit." Mom said calmly, making me slightly impatient. I loved hearing news, since I normally didn't get a lot.

"Okay! So what's the news?" I tried to make myself less desperate sounding, thinking that maybe if I weren't so eager sounding, they might tell me quicker.

"Jacob, Renesmee already told you we're moving, at least that's what Alice told me. And you are coming with us... we planned to move before the end of the summer." Dad said, he grinned as he caught my excitement through my thoughts. Yes, this was very good news. Of course I would miss my house, but I was ready to go to school, and learn things, and meet people. Have friends. Not that I would, or even could love anyone more than Jake. I was practically jumping out of my chair. "There is a little town in West Virginia, called Elkins. It's not as cloudy there as it is here, but with you two, we can afford to be out a little more often." he said. I was so excited.

Jasper, having sensed the excitement ran down the stairs into the living room to see what was going on.

"Hi, jasper! Did you hear we're moving to Elkins?" I beamed up at him, while he stared down at me with a look that said _are you high?_ I giggled. Only Jacob ruined the mood.

"What about Charlie?" he asked. Oh… crap!

"We've stayed here as long as we could, if he wants to come with us he's welcome, I'm sure." Jazz, who I was least expecting to answer, was looking at dad thinking silent questions himself. Probably about when, where was Elkins, if they really had to start high school _again._

"The summer only ends in about a month and a half, and we already bought a big house, and it's kind of secluded, near the woods. We also got a small second house, for me and your dad." Momma said.

I felt like dancing again, but right now, I stayed planted in my seat. I would dance later. I laughed, thinking about last time I made Charlie dance with me, and I tried to disguise it as a cough. No one was fooled, especially not dad, who chuckled a little himself. although I was careful not to think about why I had felt that happy at the time.

Thinking about grandpa reminded me that I had to talk to him about moving. In a month! Such short notice!

"We also already informed the school of our arrival. Bella and I won't be married..." He crinkled his face in distaste. I guess he didn't like the way that sounded, "Jake, you look different, but we'll all be the adopted children of Carlisle and Esme Cullen, as usual." I thought it would be interesting having grandpa Carlisle pretend to be my dad.

I grinned in utter bliss, I looked around at my family, even though most were not present at the time. I didn't know what it was like to be a normal human, but surely the best place for them to be caught between was a loving family and a promising future, and a number of them might trade all they had for something like this. Everything was perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

Today was a wonderful day, for one reason. Today was the day I was going to start school. We had moved to Elkins, into a wonderfully large home. Charlie decided to stay in Forks for now, but promised to visit, and said he may come live with us eventually for a while. We all fit in it, Alice, Grandpa Carlisle, Grandma Esme, Jasper, Emmett, Jacob, and I. Mom and dad stayed in their little house, while the rest of us had large rooms, almost like having our very own quarters. I guess the large amount of space was the only reason Jacob would be allowed to sleep in the house. At any rate, Alice would see any plans that he might make, but he wouldn't any way. He loved me, and the first night we kissed he made it clear he didn't want to do anything I didn't.

I got up extra early this morning, like, extra early. Mom and dad had come back to the very big house this morning to make a large breakfast for me. Even though she didn't eat anymore, she still remembered how to cook, since from what I hear, grandpa could never make anything good for himself. When I walked down into the kitchen, mom even told me to go back to bed, but there was no way I could sleep now!

"Mom! I'm so excited!" I almost yelled at her, not worrying about anyone hearing. Everyone else was awake, besides Jacob, but he slept like a rock.

"You won't be so excited if you fall asleep in your first class!" She laughed as she spoke. She set up a backpack for me nights ago, with notebooks, pens, pencils, and every other thing you could possibly need on the first day of school.

I think she was a little worried about me starting school. Even though mom could resist human blood at a very young vampire age, she had never gone to college yet because she wanted to be with me all the time while I was still growing. She was planning on going to college once I was done with these 4 years of high school, but wanted to keep a close eye on me. Surrounded by humans, she seemed a little protective of me. She knew no one could hurt me, but I supposed she didn't want anyone thinking that I was different, or strange.

It was 4:30 in the morning. But I couldn't sleep. Not now, and I made sure for the past week that I went to bed very early so I would be prepared to wake up around this time. All my life it hadn't really mattered what time I got up, but they told me the high schools started normally around 7:45. The standard for most high schools, they said. That gave me 3 hours and 15 minutes to get ready.

I showered, and I brushed my teeth. I had Alice make my hair all pretty, and pick out an outfit for me. All only 6 now. I woke up my lazy Jake, thinking 1 hour and 45 minutes would be a good amount of time for him to get ready. He already knew about high school, he'd been there before. And just like mom, he hadn't gone to college yet.

Jake got ready while I went through the contents of my backpack over and over. Only 45 minutes left now. Everyone was getting ready, though they hardly needed as much time as someone with humanly needs did.

The school was only minutes away, but there might be traffic on the way there. In that case, it might just be quicker to walk. Or jog… no, no, we were going to be normal. We were going to drive in a car like every other human being. We were all going to be the adopted children of Carlisle and Esme Cullen. We were going to be the Cullen's, and the Hale's. Jacob was going to be a Hale along with Rose, and jasper. Jake and I, Jasper and Alice, and mom and dad were all going to be sophomores and Emmett and Rose were going to be juniors.

We decided a good time to leave would be 20 minutes before the school started, Alice helped with that. She knew that we weren't going to be late. She also knew where each of our classes were and had gone over them a number of times with us. We all had our schedules and thanks to dad and his skill to negotiate with the female secretary, I had most of my classes set up to be in the same class with any one of the Cullen's, but mostly Jake. My first class- advanced algebra, with Jacob _and _mom!

10 minutes to go before we left the house and I was anxious. I had done all of my studies- dad taught me all the math I needed to know to be in advanced algebra, I'd learned history, I'd learned English and language arts, I'd learned science… I hoped I wasn't forgetting anything.

"Okay Nessie! Time to get in the car." Jake told me, maybe more than once now. He pushed me a little into the direction of the car and that's when I realized I was actually going to school. School!

"Alright." I said simply but that's all I could manage. Jake seemed relieved that I said anything, or that I was getting in the car now. And right on time, it was exactly 20 minutes until the bell would ring.

"Momma, momma! We have our first hour together with Jake!" I sounded like a little girl, but I didn't care, I was going to school!

"I know, I think you've mentioned that a few times." I'm sure I had. I was wondering off into excited thoughts about what the students would be like, and what we could learn, and if I had everything I needed until the school came into view. It was the feeling of finally getting what you wanted, but you were scared to have it. My stomach jumped around a little, filling with butterflies and I held Jacob's hand tighter.

"Don't worry about it. Remember, everyone is going to love you, just wait till they all see you!" Ahhhhh. Jake always made me feel better. Even if it was only a little.

The car stopped. The doors opened. People got out of the car. I wasn't moving. Jake almost had to yank me out of the car.

"Alright! No, this is going to be great! Yes, no… alright… I'm ready!" everyone stared at me with either a little of concern for my sanity or amusement. I smiled at everyone while I grabbed my book bag and stepped out of the car to begin my new life at the high school.

I thought we would all walk together in a little cloud of Cullen's, but instead, we all walked in pairs, spaced out. I guess a big cloud of new students _could_ startle some people. As people entered the school they stared, they looked at us with some excitement, and what I guessed was nervousness and then whispered to their colleagues walking with them. From here, I could hear them.

"Those have to be them. The Cullen's? Right?" one whisperer said.

"Yeah I think so, and just look at them! Did they just walk out of a movie or something?" another said.

"Nice car," "nice clothes," "pale faces," "cute faces," were among the most of the whispered secrets. The secrets that weren't secrets at all.

Alice showed us all the way to our classes and I took a seat next to Jake. Another boy took a seat next to me and kindly smiled.

"Hi! You must be one of the new students, are you Vanessa Cullen?" he asked. Mom and dad thought that maybe a name like Vanessa would attract less attention.

"Yes, but you can call me Nessie." I knew it was babyish sounding but it had stuck with me ever since the first time someone called me that. The boy seemed a little stunned, maybe Nessie attracted just as much attention as Renesmee did. He wasn't saying anything else, but I wanted to know his name. "What's your name?" I encouraged. Maybe making friends would be harder than I thought.

"Oh! Uh, my name is Ian." He stuttered out a sentence and warm blood flooded to the surface of his cheeks under the skin. His face was a rosy pink, but as I had heard before, I was not allowed to bite people here, and they didn't heal as fast as Jacob. Not that it was hard to resist. I had only ever drunk human blood when I was a baby, but I could remember it tasted good.

Jacob made an obvious coughing noise as he called attention to himself. Ian's face turned an even brighter pink.

"I'm Jacob… Hale." He would have to get into the habit of the new last name, but he made it clear that he didn't have the same last name as me.

"Oh, um hello." The boy with the pink cheeks turned back to face the front of the class and he pulled out a notebook to make himself look busy. He drew little doodles and lines on the page, and they didn't really turn into a picture, but they were pretty. Humans were fascinating.

"Alright this is the tenth grade class right?" the teacher quieted the classroom down and made markings on a green and white notebook. She started calling names off of a list and as each name was called and each person said "here" and raised their hand, I tried to memorize their faces in my head, so I would know all their names.

"Vanessa?" I hadn't realized it was my name she was calling until she rechecked the list, "Cullen?" my turn!

"Here," I raised my hand and almost the whole class turned to see one of the new students. I'm sure they had done the same when they called Isabella's name and Jacobs's, but I hadn't been paying any mind. Some of the gazes lingered longer than others, usually they were males. I just smiled innocently until most of them turned away, and that took longer than I expected.

I wondered why they were all staring so much, did I have something on my face? Jacob saw worry written on my expression and took my hand. I smiled at him, I needed the warmth of his hand to keep my calm. So low I wasn't sure anyone else would hear, he whispered to me "they think you're beautiful." Oh. My heart was trying to hammer through my chest. The only one in the whole room that I would ever want was the one sitting next to me holding my hand, whispering to me.

"We have some new students this year… quite a few actually." Again she checked the list in her hands to recall the names. "Here we are, Jacob Hale?" she found Jake in the classroom and was probably thinking he looked too old to be a sophomore, but then again he was. "Where are you and your family coming from?" I wasn't sure we should say the exact location of our prior home, but as long as he kept it generic, I supposed it was alright.

"Washington." The teacher's eyebrows rose.

"That's a bit of a ways away." she looked at the list yet again.

"Isabella Cullen, is it?" mom smiled sweetly. I could see the slightest hint of annoyance, something only her family would recognize. To the rest of those humans with weaker eyes, they would see a happy beautiful face with a touch of danger.

"Actually, I prefer Bella." She said quietly. The teacher jotted that note on her list.

"You guys like Washington?" the teacher asked another question and mom gave a predictable answer.

"And Vanessa Cullen," she looked into the crowded classroom to see my face, where again many of the boys were looking, especially Ian and Jacob."What brings you all here to West Virginia?" yet _another_ question. It was none of her business. _Well you see, I'm half vampire, my boyfriend is a werewolf, and the rest of my family are all vampires. People were starting to notice the family wasn't aging, and I couldn't go to school because I was rapidly growing… did you know I'm only 6?_

"Dad got a job here." Isn't that what most people said? It was because of business?

"What does your father do?"

"He's a doctor." I wished she would stop asking so many questions.

"Quite a family you have there!" she turned her attention to the rest of the classroom and handed out sheets of paper with lists of supplies and rules.

The next 3 hours went much like the first. Turning heads, teachers probing questions. When were we going to start learning? Lunch came around, but I was still full from the last hunting trip I went on last week. We got two trays of food and 

it would have been left untouched had Jacob- who ate both trays- not been there. Before the bell was going to ring ending lunch, the boy from the first hour- Ian- came up to me again, but this time he brought some of his friends. I smiled kindheartedly.

"Hey, Nessie." Ian said. There were 3 other boys with him and the all smiled awkwardly and I smiled back.

"Hello, Ian." I replied. I turned to the other nervous boys, "what are your names?"

"I'm Uhhhh, David." He tried to make his voice sound lower than it was, but it was unsuccessful because of the crack in the middle. I turned to the next.

"I'm Jordan." This boy didn't seem as nervous as the rest of them. He looked stronger, like he was on the football team, and he had a cocky smile on his face. I turned to the next one, avoiding Jordan's strange gaze.

"My name is Matt." This boy seemed more normal than the rest, but still nervous. He had symmetrical features and pretty green eyes.

"Nice to meet you." I smiled sweetly.

" I was thinking that, well, maybe tomorrow you would want to sit with us at lunch?" Ian asked. he was very nervous I could tell. I saw sweat pool up on his forehead. He and his friends had blood under their cheeks, besides Jordan. They smelled nice. But Jacob smelled better.

"I'd love to," I started, and the boys relaxed a little, "can Jake come too?" they tensed a little, sensing the competition. They didn't even know me, but I would love to try and be their friends. I would love to have friends.

"Uh… well… sure." He seemed hesitant to say it, but I probably wouldn't want to be their friends if they didn't like Jacob.

Daddy spoke then, with a voice so low and quick that no human would ever have a hope of hearing. Only we vampires and werewolves that had super hearing.

"Bella, I wish you could see what Jacob was thinking right now! He's so jealous." Jasper quickly nodded his head, subtly and rapidly.

"I can feel it radiating off of him!" jasper was laughing and so was Emmett. Jake started shaking a little bit. I held his hand and tried to calm him down, but it wasn't really necessary, because soon as I touched him he calmed down. To them, it just must have looked like I was holding his hand to show I was with him. This little exchange had only happened in seconds and I doubt their human eyes even saw the shaking.

"What class do you have next Ian?" I knew Jake was jealous, but he needn't worry, he should know that. I was a little offended that he didn't trust me. But maybe it was just Ian he didn't trust.

Dad and jazz, and Em, kept on saying things about his thoughts and feelings, but mom swiftly put a shield around his mind so they would stop bothering him. He shot her a thank you, but the guys complained that Bella took away their fun. I said thank you too.

"I have world history." He checked his schedule while he spoke. I had this class next with dad also.

"I have that class too! Will you sit with me?" I asked him. Jacob was going to start shaking again, but thankfully the bell rang, ending lunch.

"Sure!" he looked excited. As soon as he left, I walked with Jacob to his next class, but before he went inside, I pulled him to the side.

"Jake, you don't have to be jealous, I'm just trying to make some friends." I explained to him.

"I know, I know… it's just so obvious that they like you… the fact that they had that kind of objective, I don't know… it just bothered me." I put my hand on his cheek and replayed the night that we kissed. Since now was not the time or place for that, I just let the image play through our heads. Our hearts were pounding. To any human, it would just look like I put my hand on his cheek.

"I love you, don't forget that." He smiled, and I reached up on my tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek. "See you after class." I walked away but I didn't hear the door open and close until after I turned the corner.

When I entered my classroom, Ian had already saved me a seat next to him and he waved me over to him.

"Thanks for saving me a seat." I said to him, he blushed… such a lovely shade of red.

"No problem." He grinned a goofy smile and started doodling in his notebook again. Maybe humans needed to draw on something when they felt nervous.

The teacher hadn't come into the class yet, so I decided to start some conversation.

"So, Ian, have you always lived in West Virginia?" best to start with effortless, easy questions for this one.

"ummm. Yeah- yes." How hard would it be to talk to him if he said every sentence this way?

"I've always lived in Washington." Although it was slightly easier than it might be to detach myself from that place because I didn't know anyone who lived there besides grandpa.

"Did you like it there?" he asked now.

"Yes. It rained too much, but it was beautiful and green," for half a second I considered showing him what it looked like… just set my hand on his cheek. It was too much of a habit, and _of course_ I knew that showing humans besides grandpa was against the rules. Despite the fact I was hardly even considering it, daddy coughed and caught my attention to shoot me a warning look. Ian noticed that too. his eyebrows rose.

"oh, um…" I tried to put a simple explanation together quickly and innocently, using a charming voice I used for persuasion or convincing, "he was just wondering who you were, and why I wasn't sitting with him." the boy blushed pink and drew a doodle.

"Why _aren't _you sitting with him?" he asked, not looking up from his doodles. His blush grew brighter.

"Because I asked _you_ to sit with me, didn't I?" Did he still want to sit with me?

"He looked mad." Said Ian as quietly as he could. Too bad daddy could hear him anyway.

"He's not mad! It's just that childish brother of mine, he's too cowardly to sit by himself." I heard daddy laugh a little, the sentence sounded silly to my own ears. I smiled dazzlingly and Ian let it drop.

The teacher came in then, and these hours went by quickly like the first had. Ian's blush never quite faded, and he kept throwing little glances in my direction until class was over.

Once the bell ended school for the day, I said goodbye to Ian and his friends- who were all in my last hour- and caught up with my family to leave.

I found Jacob through the crowd of my family and practically attacked him. I pretty much rammed right into him to give him a hug, not even caring who might be looking. "How was your first day of high school Jake?" The excitement was ringing in my voice and he laughed.

"Like the last first day of high school I had!" He said. "I'm guessing yours was pleasant?" He guessed sarcastically from the way my voice sounded. I nodded my head vigorously.

"Let's go home and watch a movie!" I liked the way watching movies with Jake made me feel, and it would go perfectly with the mood I was in now.

"Sure!" we held hands on the way to the car thinking careful thoughts all the way home.

Once we arrived back in our home, Jacob and I went into my room, or I should say rooms, to watch a movie. We went into the room with the big screen plasma TV and a comfortable sofa. There was a cabinet filled with DVD's and a fridge with coke and popcorn. None of which I liked especially, but Jacob did. We set up one bowl of buttery, salty popcorn and Jake grabbed some pop to go with that.

"Alright, what do you want to watch?" I asked him.

"You were the one who suggested we watch a movie!" he laughed at the realization that I didn't really have a movie in mind, or that I was even going to pay attention to the movie.

"Will you pick one out for us?" I asked in an almost velvety voice.

"Absolutely," he seemed a little stunned himself, but got up and opened the doors to the cabinet and looked for about 10 seconds before pulling out a random DVD and setting it in the DVD player. I turned off the lights and snuggled up in Jacobs lap. He put his arms around me and pressed his lips against my hair. I got goose-bumps.

I rested my hand on his cheek, and just like I had this afternoon, I replayed the night of our first kiss. Our hearts hammered while I turned my head to face him and he pulled me closer until our lips met. The heat was much like that of our last kiss. It seemed as if electricity was sparking out in every direction. I parted his lips slightly, but he took his time. His fingers snaked through my hair and then to my waist to hold me close to him. Moments passed and I thought I might faint from lack of proper breathing. I broke away and we both gasped for air.

I stared at him and it felt like our eyes were melting together. "I love you, Jacob black." I whispered.

"And I love you, Renesmee Cullen." He whispered back. He re-wrapped his warm arms around me and held me tight.

"Jacob…" I sighed his name out, loving the sound of it against my lips. "I'll love you for as long as I live." I'd been up since 4:30 and I was tired, even though it was only 3:30, I closed my eyes and started to drift off to take a nap. I heard him whisper back while I quickly made my way to sleep. "I'll love you for as long as you want me." I heard him say as I fell asleep in his arms.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, I woke up early again, but not anywhere near as early as the day before. 5:30 instead, because I had already picked out what to wear the night before. Alice again helped me with my hair and I only went through the contents of my backpack once. I woke Jake a half hour later.

"Time to wake up sleepy head!" I shouted in a high pitched voice. I pulled his covers off and opened the shades to the window to let the light shine in.

"Ugh... no." he groaned and rolled over, covering his face. I giggled.

"What if I told you that mommy made some pancakes just for you?" I questioned. He lifted his head and started getting up, slow but sure.

"Okay. I'm getting up!" he said. I realized something just then… I opened the window to let the light shine in. it was sunny! The only people who would be able to go to school today would be me and Jake. It was only the second day of school, and they already had to skip.

"Jake, no one else is going to go to school today but you and me." I said. He must have already realized this, because he didn't seem shocked at all.

"We just have to say they like to go hiking on sunny days… won't go over well with the teachers, I imagine… skipping on the second day of school! I guess we could say everyone but us caught the flu…" he trailed off thinking of plausible excuses.

"The flu it is." I left the room so Jake could change while I went and told mom that Jake and I were going to say they caught a contagious virus, and that it was likely they all had it.

"Jacob drove our shiny Volvo to school, while I rode shotgun. I wondered if anyone would believe that 6 out of 8 people going in our family had actually caught the flu…

After explaining to many teachers why the majority of our family was missing, and saying that they hadn't been feeling well for days, the rest of classes seemed much like yesterday. Teachers were still going over what we needed in class and what was to be expected of us. I was really only listening when the teachers started discussing the things we would be learning. They handed out itineraries saying what we would learn in each quarter.

When they handed out these sheets, I read them thoroughly and whispered quietly to Ian who had shoved the paper in his pocket. "I'm so excited!" he shot me a strange look.

"About the itinerary?" he asked in disbelief.

"Well, yeah. Aren't you? Don't you want to learn? I mean, that _is_ what we are here for right?" he considered that for a moment.

"Well, I guess." He thought about that some more. It was just a simple question. This was a school- and they taught at school.

Jake, who had been listening to our conversation, leaned over to me and whispered very low, like he had yesterday.

"Just because they're here, doesn't mean they all want to learn." Jake said very quietly. Oh. I had just assumed that everyone was just as excited as I, but they had all been to years of schooling. Maybe they were bored with what teaching had to offer. I thought about that for the rest of my classes, trying to determine which of the students in our classes seemed enthusiastic about learning new things, and which ones seemed as if they would rather be somewhere else, doing something else.  
Lunch came around and I remembered the offer that Ian and his friend had extended to us. Well, actually just me.

Jake and I found Ian's table at once when we entered the cafeteria. They were kind of hard to miss. Ian and Jordan waved their hands around as soon as their eyes saw us.

"Hey Nessie!" they shouted to catch my attention. I smiled and walked over to them. I set down my backpack on my chair.

"I'll be right back." I grabbed Jake's hand to pull him towards the lunch line, so he could get some food for himself.

"Maybe you should eat something today." Jake said, "in front of them, they might think it's weird if you never eat anything." Jake suggested. I would take his word into consideration. Never mind. I wasn't going to eat anything today. Food just isn't as good as blood. But I guess I can't explain that to these boys.

"I don't think I will." I said. I wasn't trying to sound mean; I just didn't want any people food.

"Fine, but you're probably going to have to eat some human food here one of these days." I grimaced.

He got two trays again for himself, but I carried one to make it look like it was for me. I moved my book bag to make a seat for myself- next to Jake and Ian. Matt and David went to the library to check some books out that they were supposed to read over the summer.

They talked about what they like to do in their free-time- Ian liked to draw and play the guitar. Jordan liked to play football and soccer, and if no one was available to practice with him then he guessed he would play video games on his Xbox 360 live. He said I was welcome to play with him sometime. "You're welcome to play with my Xbox anytime you'd like." He'd said. That's when Jake intervened to say what _he_ liked to do in _his_ free-time. Even though he wasn't asked. He was hardly spoken to at all.

"usually I like to work on cars, or watch movies with her," he pointed to me, "and when we were in Washington, we liked walking on the beach…" he said. I loved doing all those things with him. All was quiet for an awkward moment, so I figured now would be a good time to speak.

"Maybe you two could come with me and Jake to the movies sometime." I suggested and their faces lit up. Jacob shook the teeniest bit.

"Really? I would love that!" Ian said, obviously excited. His smile was adorable.

"Sounds _really_ good to me." Jordan said, making Jacob shake a teeny bit more.

"Yeah," Jacob tried to say without menace, "that would be great." Jake said this with much strain, Ian didn't seem to notice how almost sarcastic it sounded, because he was still slightly taken aback by my generous offer.

Matt and David were gone the whole lunch hour, so I didn't get to learn anything about them. The rest of the lunch hour went by quickly, and just like yesterday I walked with Jacob to his next class, pulling him aside before letting him go inside.

"Maybe we'll have fun. You've _got_ to relax Jake. You don't even have to compete with them, I already love you, and they are just friends. There's no need to contend." Just like yesterday, I set my hand on his cheek and replayed one of our kisses, in particular the one from last night. "There. Now doesn't _that_ say 'I love you'?" he chuckled at that.

No one would think twice about seeing this unlikely intimate moment. It hardly looked anything more than casual, but I could feel the heat between Jake and I. I reached up on my tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I hurried to my next class, but like yesterday I didn't hear him go into his class until after I turned the corner.

In my last class, Jordan and Ian sat next to me and before the teacher came in we were discussing what would be a good day for us all to go to the movies. They decided that Saturday at 6:00 would be a good time.

"I don't know where the movie theatre is," I admitted. "I don't think Jake knows either." Maybe Alice would know though…

"That's fine, I can pick you up… and Jake too, I guess." Ian said.

"That's alright Ian, I can do it." Jordan said. They then turned to me.

"Nessie, who do you want to pick you up?" Ian asked, looking as if he expected it to be himself.

"Ummm, that's okay; I think Alice might know how to get to the theatre." I said, not wanting to hurt either of their feelings. But they both looked a little disappointed anyway. Seconds later the teacher walked in with a stack of itineraries. But when Jordan wasn't looking, Ian handed me a little folded piece of paper.

"Here's my number just in case you _do_ need a ride." He whispered.

After class was over I found Jake in the crowd of students eager to leave. He was kind of hard not to see, with his head over almost everyone surrounding him. I held his hand to the car but just before we got in I showed him the conversation I had with Ian and Jordan, so he would know about our plans. Then I showed him the part where they were arguing to pick me up.

"What is this?" I asked him. He started laughing.

"They were fighting over you and you denied them both!" oh. That must have made Jake feel very happy. Did he realize that if they had been fighting over me that meant that they both kicked him out of the competition for now? He laughed all the way home.

Once we got home, Jake raided the kitchen and I went upstairs on my computer to see if I could find this movie theatre. Mom was in the kitchen sitting with Jake asking about their day at school. And I could hear them perfectly.

"You remember those guys at school? Ian, Jordan, and those two other guys…" he said not even bothering to try and remember what their names were.

"Yes," she giggled a little bit, "the ones who are infatuated with my daughter." She said.

"Well Ness decided to encourage them… Ian, Jordan and Ness and I are all going to the movies this Saturday." Mom starting laughing a little more.

"Kind of sounds like that time that we went to the movies with mike." She said. Wait, what? Who was mike, and why was it like 'that time'?

"I'm going to win this one too!" he said with confidence. Did they even know what they were saying? Alice came then and slapped them both on the head. I got up and rushed down the stairs at vampire speed.

"Who is mike?" I asked. They all thought a bit carefully before answering. A little too carefully.

"He was just this human boy… he liked me, but I was already… dating your dad." She said. It almost sounded like a lie.

"Who is mike in this situation?" I asked.

"Ian and Jordan." Jake said.

"Alright then, who was 'we' in _your _situation?" This was starting to get confusing.

"…well… let's say that… mike and Jake and I… we went to the movies, and… Jake wanted me to be his… friend… more than I was with mike…" she said. She took one too many breaks for my taste.

"Where was dad?" didn't she go everywhere with dad?

"He was… practicing his tracking skills." She said. Tracking? What for?

"When was this?" I asked.

"When I was human." she answered almost automatically. I knew that though.

"When?"

"Why does it matter?" she raised her voice a little. Maybe it was time to back down. I had seen my mother when she was angry and it was not pretty. I remembered way back to when I was a baby, and she was a newborn, and she got really mad when she found out that my Jake had imprinted on me…

"It was the night I turned into a wolf." Jake said. Interesting that he remembered what he was doing that night.

Mom and Jake did not want to reveal the timing of this occurrence. Wouldn't that only mean one thing?

"Mom. I know when it happened. Sometime between your eighteenth birthday and 6 months in-between, correct?" I said in a snooty way that might have gotten me grounded. I only knew because they were hesitant of the timing. Jakes jaw tightened and mom pursed her lips.

I turned around and ran back up to my room. Jake called after me but I ignored him. I thought this was done and over with. I thought there weren't going to be any more lies. I thought there weren't going to be any more secrets. But there was. Which meant they were still hiding something from me.

I pulled out the folded up piece of paper that Ian had given me earlier and dialed the number on my cell phone. I heard two rings before he picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"It's Nessie." I said

"Oh… hey!" his voice started to lighten up a bit. He must have been glad that I was calling him.

"Hey. You know how you said you played the guitar?" I asked.

"Yeah… for years. Why?" I heard someone knock on my door but I ignored it.

"Well I was wondering if I could come over and hear a song or two." I said.

"… Yeah! Sure! I would love that!" he sounded so excited, and the knocking on the door increased in volume. "What's that noise?" he asked, referring to the banging. The door would surly give in if the slamming continued.

"Nothing, can you pick me up at the school?" I couldn't have him picking me up here, and I didn't want a ride from anyone in my family. I would just run there.

"Yeah! Wait, why the school?" he asked. I guess maybe that wasn't normal.

"Does it matter?" I asked.

"I guess not, when? Now?"

"I'll be there in a few minutes." I said. Hopefully he thought I was already close by, or someone was driving me there.

"No problem!" he was probably going to speed to the school, so as not to make me wait, but I would probably get there before him anyway.

"Alright, bye." I hung up the phone and faced the door. Maybe I didn't want to talk to this person. "Who is it?" I shouted, trying to be heard past the knocking.

"It's Jake." I heard him say. The knocking stopped as he waited quietly outside my door.

"What do you want?" I asked, sounding a bit too harshly to my own ears.

"I want you to not be mad at me." I had every right to me mad, didn't I?

"Well I am. I'm going now." Perhaps that door wasn't the best exit though.

"Wait!" he shouted, and the sound of his voice stopped me in my tracks to find the nearest window.

"For what?" I demanded I didn't want to wait for long; Ian might have already gotten to the school.

"…I love you. Renesmee, I love you." He said. If I had ever thought there might be a time when that didn't warm my soul, I would have thought it would be right now. But I would be wrong.

"I love you too," I said, almost too quietly for him to hear, "but I'm still leaving now." I opened the window and jumped. I arrived at the school only 5 minutes later, and I saw Ian's car pull in just seconds after I got there. I walked out from behind the school, making it look like someone dropped me off in the back parking lot.

"Hey Ian!" I tried to sound enthusiastic, but failed in the slightest bit, just like how I tried to smile, but that didn't work quite right either. I thought humans had dull observations skills, but this one seemed to notice my apathetic attitude.

He caught up to me and asked me what was wrong, "are you alright?"

Again, I tried to smile, but ended up looking down instead. "Let's just go to your house." He nodded in agreement, but there was concern in his eyes.

In the car he again tried to determine the reason for my droopy apparel.

"What's wrong Vanessa?" he was switching between watching the road and looking at my face,

"It's, well just…" I sighed, "Nothing."

"that's definitely not 'nothing'" he countered.

"I'll talk, you look at the road." I said, slightly concerned myself for his driving. Not that he was a bad driver, I wasn't worried about myself, but if he was looking at me instead of the road, he probably wouldn't be able to walk away from an accident like I could.

"deal." He kept his eyes on the road but I could tell there was a little strain there.

"You know Jake right?" he rolled his eyes.

"yeah." Well obviously, but…

"Jake, and… Edward and Bella are lying to me. Something happened, but they won't tell Me." it just sounded like a simple squabble between family, but it was so much more than that. Jacob was my soul mate, and I couldn't tell Ian that, but I was fighting with him, and I didn't want to. I was going to be with my family for a _very _long time and I _wa_s going to find out eventually.

"How long have they been keeping this from you?" _six years…_ could I say that? Or should I just say two months? Maybe he would take it more seriously if I said the true length. But did he already serious enough?

"A while." I probably wasn't going to say more than that right now, so he let it go.

We got to his house a few minutes later. It was nice, in a cozy way. It wasn't very big or elegant but it was sweet. The fragrance of pumpkin pie was in the house- not surprising considering that Halloween was coming up this month. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and inhaled one of my favorite scents.

"Want some pumpkin pie?" he asked, noticing my favor for the smell.

"Really? I'll have a piece." I said. Normally I wouldn't, but like Jake said, I was going to have to eat something sometime in front of them. Jake…

"Make yourself at home, I'll be right back." he ran into the kitchen and I took a seat in a comfortable brown leather sofa. It was in front of plasma, not much different from the one in my room. I could hear him in the kitchen, still cutting slices, so I decided to take a look at his DVD collection.

He had almost every DVD I had, and some I'd never seen. I grabbed one that looked interesting, to read the back cover for the description. I had that in hand when he walked into the room. Of course, I'd heard him coming.

"Here you go," he handed me a plate with a slice of freshly baked pumpkin pie, with a scoop of cool whip next to it.

"Thanks," I took the plate from him and asked, "Can I hear you play the guitar now?"

"Yeah sure!" he ran upstairs to get his guitar and ran back down with an acoustic. He sat down on the couch with his legs crossed and set the guitar on his lap.

"Anything in specific you want to hear?" he asked. I didn't listen to a lot of music, so I probably wouldn't be able to suggest anything. I offhandedly took a bite of the pumpkin pie.

"Play your favorite." I said. "This is delicious by the way." I said, with pumpkin pie still in my mouth. He thought for a second before putting his hands on the strings.

He put his fingers into motion and suddenly music was flowing out of the guitar. It sounded like when daddy played the piano for me. Notes streamed out into a lovely melody and it sounded like it was being played just for me. I closed my eyes and imagined the notes dancing out of the instrument. The song wasn't long but it was beautiful. Once he finished I opened my eyes to see him smiling.

"That was wonderful!" I said. Ian blushed.

"thanks." He smiled."I noticed you were looking at this DVD," he picked up the DVD case I had set on the coffee table when he went to get his amazing guitar, "did you want to watch it? Didn't you say you liked watching movies?" he asked.

"I love movies. Let's watch it!" I said. I set my empty plate on the counter, while Ian put the movie in the DVD player. I sat down, and after he was done setting the movie up, he sat down next to me. Occasionally he would glance in my direction, but whenever I could him looking, I could hear his heart stutter and I could smell blush on his cheeks and about halfway through the movie I set my head on his shoulder and nearly fell asleep, but his interesting heart rhythm kept me awake.


	5. Chapter 5

"I had a really nice time Ian." I said, as I got up, "I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked.

"Of course!" He exclaimed. I was about to walk out the door, but there was something I wanted to say.

"Ian?" He turned towards me, "I really appreciate this. I really needed to do something." I smiled and turned back to walk out of his house.

"Wait! Do you need a ride?" He asked. But I felt like running.

"No, thanks, I'll see you later." I closed the door behind me before he could ask how far a walk that would be.

I ran all the way home, but this time, there was no music in the air when I arrived. The house seemed strangely empty, but I could smell my family's scents all over the house.

I missed Jake. Even though I had seen him earlier, I guess I felt like it had been longer since the last goodbye I gave him was bitter. Should I let him off that easy? I was never one for holding grudges. I just had to play this out, and in time, maybe they would trust me with this secret. If trust was the problem…

I ran straight to his room and knocked on the door. He opened it slowly, knowing who was on the other side.

"Renesmee," he breathed out a sigh of relief at the sight of my face, "are you mad at me?" Shouldn't _he_ be mad with _me_?

"I'm sorry!" I said. Why couldn't this just be easy? Simple, easy relationship with no secrets? "You three are obviously not ready to tell me what this secret is. But just know, in this family, it's going to be hard to keep a secret forever. I will find out someday." This I knew, but again, if it were something that big, bigger than what they told me before, did I want to know?

"That doesn't mean I don't want to try." Quiet enough I wasn't sure if I was intended to hear, he whispered without looking me in the eye.

"I wish you wouldn't," I took his hand and walked into his room, "Answer me this though.; you were telling the truth before right? About dad leaving mom?"

"Yes." To know that that was true helped me feel a little more like I wasn't being lied to. Even though that might not be entirely the case.

"Why don't you tell me? Is it because you don't trust me?" I tried to think of another reason besides that, but failed.

"Nessie! Of course I trust you. I trust you more than anyone in the world!" He seemed almost offended by my question.

"Then why won't you tell me?" I felt a little stinging in my eyes as they filled up to water. Just to the brim, but not spilling over yet. Jacob saw the glistening water and shook his head with his eyes closed.

"Because it's your reaction I'm afraid of." He set his hand on mine, and he stared at our hands with his head down.

I tried harder and harder to keep control of my voice, and not give in to the tear that threatened to boil over. "How do you think I'm going to react?"

"I think you won't be able to look at me the same way." He said so quietly, it was almost a whisper.

"_That,_ I would consider as you not trusting me." a single tear rolled down my face. Jake placed his hand on the side of my face and wiped it away with his thumb.

Just then, the doorknob turned and Aunt Rose walked in. Jake's hand dropped as she shot an apologetic smile.

"Sorry to interrupt…" she walked further into the room.

"I'm sure you are Blondie." Rose's face crinkled the slightest bit in detest.

"I was just coming to ask though… Edward, Bella, Alice, Jazz, Em, and I are going out to dinner and we were wondering if you two wanted to come." She said. Um, what? Jacob did not seem as puzzled as I by this request, but my anger was put aside for the moment.

"Rose? Have you lost it?" I asked. What made her think of going to a restaurant?

"No! Seriously! We're going out to a place where humans eat, and you two are coming with us!" she flashed her white teeth at us to smile bright.

"Alright." Jake said in agreement. Agreement? Rosalie and Jake never agreed. He didn't even say a blond joke…

"Yay!" She jumped up and down and clapped her hands, as if Emmett had just given her diamonds, or she got a nice, polished, new car. "It's a nice place… formal… Nessie, I have the cutest dress for you!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me away. I tried to give Jake a smile as I was being pulled out of his room, but it didn't touch my eyes.

Alice and Rosalie tugged at my hair every which way, taking strands of my curly hair and putting it up on the back of my head to make a curly pony tail. They sent spurts of hairspray into my hair to hold it into place and shoved black bobby pins around to catch the loose strands. They decided I didn't need any make-up what-so-ever. After that, they pulled out a red spaghetti-strap dress, low neck, and beautiful. They had red high-heels to go with it and a necklace and bracelet with rubies on them. I would have worn earring with them, but seeing as I have almost the same skin as a real vampire, we couldn't pierce my ear.

"It brings out the blush in your cheeks and the red in your lips!" They said ecstatically, "it's going to look so stunning on you!" I held up the dress against by body and examined it in the full length mirror.

"Get out, I can change myself!" I said trying hard not to laugh, the foul mood of earlier forgotten. They laughed, but eventually walked out to let me be.

I slipped into the red dress and studied the image in the mirror. She had pretty brown eyes, and her hair was pulled back flawlessly, the crimson in the dress caught the flakes of red in her cheeks and lips and intensified them, no make-up was a smart idea, anything more would have been too much.

I grabbed the scarlet shoes, the exact shade of the dress and pulled them on. I walked around gracefully, experimenting the walk. I called the girls back into he room, so they could help me put the bracelet on while I put the necklace on.

"My god, Renesmee, you look exquisite!" They took a step back and inspected their work.

"Thanks. What's the name of the restaurant, by the way?"

"I don't know! Edward knows, I think. Does it matter?" Oh, god, they were taking me to a restaurant, and they didn't even know the title.

"Is there an occasion?" There had to be a reason why they were going to this extent.

"Um. Well… no." Okay. "Well let's go! Come on, we have reservations!" They grabbed my arm and pulled me down the stairs, and there at the bottom, was Jacob waiting for me. For now, I was going to let this growing secret be pushed to the back of my mind. Let, because at just the sight of him, all was forgotten at the moment, making it easy to forget all the bad recent times we've had, to remember the life-time, or last 6 years' time, of happy memories, when my Jake was holding me in his arms and it was easy to know that the only thing, his only priority, was to make sure that I was happy. And wasn't that what he was doing now?

He wrapped his arm around mine and our family walked in pairs to our car. Grandpa and grandma decided not to come, so they could give us a kids' night out… which I found amusing because I never thought of my parents as kids.

"So will someone please tell me why 4 _vampires_ are going out to dinner?" I asked. Most of them chuckled or giggled.

"Quality time. Some of you happen to like eating." Emmett said.

"Just Jacob actually!"I corrected. I hooked my arm through Jacob's, still forgetting about the sullen mood of earlier. He smiled.

"We like to get dressed up?" Rose said, in a question-like way. Who knew? Maybe this was just a vampire's way to have a little fun.

Dad and jasper exchanged a glance, which I guessed could only mean there distraction worked, but I was almost too happy to care at the moment.

We pulled into a restaurant. Or was it a hotel? It was very big and fancy looking, lit up and dramatic. The name of the restaurant was French, or something of that nature.

"How did you guys find this place?" I asked, a little stunned. They all laughed again, like they had in the car.

"We did a little exploring yesterday while you were at school!" Mom said. We walked inside, where a man was standing, waiting for people to show them to their seats. He had a heavy French accent, of course, and took us to a corner of the restaurant with a large table for 6, and handed us all menus.

" I don't want anything." I said to the family, as I set the menu in the middle of the table. Jake flipped through the pages of his, trying to understand what everything was. Even though it was in English, most of the foods had extravagant French names. He held it upside-down, but after a second he flipped it back over. Maybe he was reassuring himself that he was reading it the correct way. Mom stood up and walked over to him, and she quickly explained what most of it was and the confusion on jakes face calmed a bit. I giggled.

"So, Ness, where've you been all day?" Mom asked me. I immediately thought of my afternoon at Ian's but I couldn't tell what dad's reaction was.

"Oh, I was at a friend's house." I said.

"Great! I'm so glad that you've made friends so quickly." Mom responded.

Jacob's attention switched to this conversation, but he ineffectively pretended to read through the menu. I could only tell because he set his jaw and his hands shook slightly for a second. "Yeah, I'm glad too." He said, not angrily, but almost sadly.

I set my hand on his and he closed his eyes.

"Oh crap!" Alice suddenly said, she stood and grabbed jaspers hand. "I just remembered that jasper and I are allergic to the food here. We have to go home now, before Jazz breaks out in a rash!" And with that they walked out of the restaurant.

"What. Just happened? Wha-"

"Alice! Wait! I just broke a nail, I need to go to the salon." Rosalie said, and she grabbed Emmett's hand… Jasper can't be allergic, let alone allergic to food. And Rosalie's nails don't break. What were they talking about. They were pretending to be human?

Mom stood up and said to dad, "I'm really tired, I think I want to go take a nap." And they left me to Jake. I started laughing.

"Are they mocking us, or humans?" I asked.

"hmmmm." He answered. The waiter came back and was about to take our drinks, but he was obviously confused about where everyone had gone and offered us a table for two, but then he forgot about our drinks. Not that I would have gotten anything anyway.

"So what did you do at Ian's?" He asked, the mood going from slight confusion and amusement, back to the sullen, less delightful atmosphere.

"He played a song on the guitar. He's actually pretty good. And then…" I tilted my head to the side, pretending like I couldn't remember, "we watched a movie." I tried to make it sound indifferent, but Jake seemed to think it more significant, by the way his body shook a little more.

"I'm sorry." He said. Why was he sorry?

Suddenly curios I asked, "Why?"

"I should be glad you have friends. And I ruining this for you." He said. I never really thought he was ruining anything.

"No, its fine, I just don't want you thinking that I'd rather hang out with him, than I would with you."

"Right, and I don't ever want to feel that way again… I think… maybe I should… Renesmee. I love you so much. And this is obviously just as hard for you as it is for me; me keeping something from you. You not knowing." He set his hand on the side of my face, his thumb caressing across my temple. I took his hand and scooted closer to him in the round booth.

"What are you saying, Jake?" I looked him in the eye, his gaze so intense, I didn't realize I wasn't breathing until I became light headed.

"I'm saying… I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything." My heart just about stopped.

"Everything…" I breathed. What a weight would be lifted once this was all done and over with.

"We told you that Edward left Bella… but something happened in-between… Bella was a wreck. I'd never seen anyone so messed up… I'd met her before… I guess I was the one who told her that Edward was a vampire. But when he left, I mean, she would look at you, but she wouldn't really be _seeing_ you. Her gaze was kind of lost, I can only imagine what kind of pain that was…" He stared off into space as he began his story, he dropped his hand and he twiddled his thumbs in his lap.

"I… kind of… you see, the first time I met your mom… I… fell in… love… with her." This time… my heart did stop. The blood drained from my face, and I looked at him, with horror in my eyes. But… this wasn't _too_ bad, he was human, she was human… weren't they? But Jacob… _my_ Jacob… used to be my _mother's_ Jacob… too? My breathing increased.

"Is that all?" I said trying very, _very_ hard to sound uncaring, unconcerned. Tried not to let the dismay in my eyes show. To try and convince myself that this wasn't anything that Jacob could have helped. Please let that be all, please say yes, yes, yes, yes. Please!

"No." No! "Remember when your mom said we went to the movies with a guy named Mike, and that that was the night I turned into a werewolf?" I nodded, absentmindedly, trying not to think so hard, "I had direct orders not to tell anyone, not to see her, but she was getting so much better, and when I left her too, she was even more broken up. I loved her so much, and eventually she was able to figure it out on her own, after that we did everything together. It wasn't until after Edward came back that I knew she was only doing those dangerous things with me because she was having delusions of him. I just had it in my mind that she loved me too, but she just didn't know it yet." He stopped. That couldn't have been all of it then, because that's almost exactly what he said before.

"And after that?" I said without emotion.

"I tried to convince her not to go to Italy, but she came back with Edward and I decided to fight for her… but when she told me that she was planning on becoming one of them, I told her I'd rather see her dead. Then I guess, I kissed her… she was so mad…"panic was rising in me, "but then when we were in that battle with Victoria, I found out that she was engaged to him… I told her that if she wasn't waiting for me, then what was the point of me coming back at all? So I kissed her again, but that time, she _did _want to… so I guess she was kind of cheating on Edward… with me… but he knew… and then she fell in love with me too. But she still picked Edward, and I was a wreck until you were born. I kind of wanted to… kill Edward… when I heard that Bella had gotten an 'unknown disease' from south America… but he was so helpless, I thought that he turned her… but she really was sick. Not a disease, but we all thought she was going to die." Towards the end, he started to ramble on.

"…" I couldn't say anything. Nothing at all. Was I in shock? How was I supposed to bring my eyes into focus?

"Renesmee?! Please say something!" He pleaded. I tried to find my voice, but it was numb. After a few more seconds I could finally control my eyes and I looked at him, but this time I couldn't hold back the shock there.

I stood up, "I think… I need to go… home. For a little while. I need to lie down."

"No, wait!" He reached for me as I walked away, I felt so awful, but I didn't want to pretend to look at him and be okay, until I actually felt that way.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I said. I needed to go home and organize my thoughts, and be alone. But where did I feel that way? It wasn't easy to be all alone, when there were so many people in your house. Maybe I would go _home._ Spend the night in Washington. That's where I really felt home. I knew I didn't have enough time for that, but it was desirable. Home… was when I was in Jacobs's arms and he was holding me tight, and I was safe from the world, and I was warm with the content of knowing he would never leave me and that we loved each other. But I couldn't have that right now either.

I went to my new room, in our big house in little Elkins, and I lied down on my bed.

"Alice." I said. Just loud enough to know that she could hear me. But not yelling, or hardly even raising my voice. But the doorknob turned in seconds.

"Yeah, sweetie?" She knew that I knew, I could tell by the way she spoke fragile words, thinking that if she said that wrong ones or if she had that wrong tone that I might shatter like an ice sculpture that was dropped.

"I need a hug." she was at my side in seconds and she enfolded me in her stone- like arms. Despite the coldness, I found comfort and she stayed with me until I drifted off into an uneasy sleep, but a sleep none-the-less, and I was able to escape my problems. If only for a few hours.


	6. Chapter 6

**I woke up that morning feeling groggy. I reached up to rub my eyes to find that I had streams dried, itchy water running down my face, so I stood up to walk to the bathroom, but it was blurry and my eyes were burning. I had been crying… in my sleep. That was the 3****rd**** time this week. How many days had it been since the secret was revealed? It was Friday now… and I had been ostracizing myself from my family for days… And now… what now? I felt like I had been tossed in the dark. I felt like I was wondering around the woods without a map. I felt alone. Knowing that there were people and family all around me didn't help. Couldn't help. Because right now there was only one person I wanted to be close to more than anything. And I didn't know how to be. Never before had I felt this way… what was this emotion? It was sadness, of course, but why **_**exactly**_** was I sad? If you found out that your mother used to be the love of the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? That your **_**mother**_** cheated on your father with your soul mate. What emotion would that be? Anger? Betrayal? …Detest? I didn't want to feel that way. But I did. And what was worse; I knew that I wasn't even alive, and that Jacob wasn't cheating on **_**me**_**, but I still felt that way. My poor father! How patient must he have been through all this? Did they even think twice about him? **_**Hey I'm still here! Stop kissing him, I'm home now**_**! What was it like? I had school today, it was 6:00 now, I would have plenty of time to get ready, but I wanted to talk to daddy first. He would be the first person I'd talked to in days. **

**I got dressed and as soon as I was done with that I ran down to the little house that my parents kept nearby. My mother had been in the kitchen of the main house to make breakfast for Jake, but as I walked through we remained wordless, exchanging an awkward glance. Only awkward because I looked at her like she was a stranger. I had been trying for days now though to look at her like she was the mom I had always looked at. Because… wasn't she still? Still though… I just couldn't see her like I used to. **

**I knocked on the door to their little house, like the one we used to have back in Washington, and the door was open in seconds. **

**"Hey Ness…" he looked a little confused, knowing that the secret had been revealed, and that I hadn't spoken since then, "What are you doing here?" I knew I didn't have a lot of time, with school starting and all, and he was only concerned about my being late. **

**"Hey daddy…"my voice broke a little, and my eyes starting watering up again and I threw myself into the hug I knew I needed.**

**Through my head, all the thoughts I needed him to hear spilled out and he hugged me tight. "It wasn't that bad…" he said, he was good at lying I knew, but there was definitely a hint of untruthfulness in his words. **

**"How did it happen? Why did you let it?" I said. I didn't want to sound like I was blaming him, but if he knew about it, then what did he do to defend his position?**

**"I didn't **_**let**_** it, it just kind of happened. It was partly my fault… I knew what a stupid mistake I made after Bella brought me back… I was coming back anyway, even if I hadn't thought she was dead, I was coming back anyway. Jake was the result of me leaving, and she fell in love with him too… if she could be happy with him, then I knew that she could have everything I wanted her to have in life… she could grow old, and not have to watch her love ones die without her… she could have kids, but who knew we could have you?! Pulling her away from that, I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself if I hurt her that way… knowing that you was what she needed." I pulled back from the hug and grabbed his hand while we walked back to the main house. **

**When we piled in the car, there wasn't the cheerfulness and anxiety we had had in the car before. I wasn't sitting next to Jacob, but I was in between Alice and daddy. I didn't have Jaspers ability, but I could almost feel Jake's emotions. I guess having been together so long, and having a strange, un-human connection, helped me read how he was feeling by the lines of his face, his posture, and the way he looked straight ahead, straining not to look in a different direction. Probably my direction. **

**What might have been of the hardest things about this; Jake told me he thought I wouldn't be able to look at him the same way. And here I was breaking the trust I had bestowed upon him. What kind of girlfriend was I?**

**The fifth day of school, and I almost knew where all my classes were. I felt horrible guilt running through me when mom went to sit next to Jake. My Jake! I felt almost possessive. I didn't want my mother sitting next to him. But I didn't want to sit next to him either. The seat next to Ian was open, and I sat next to him instead. The rest of the class I was fuming and silently jealous, making it hard to focus on anything the teacher might have said. **

**When we were walking out of the class Ian stopped me for a moment. "What was that in there?" he asked.**

**"Its nothing! I just- I-"I fastened my eyes shut to stop the filling of water, "I'm okay. Just having a rough week." I felt defeated. There was no one I could talk about this to. How would that sound? They wouldn't be able to think of Jake like a normal boyfriend anymore. **_**I found out that my mom was cheating on my dad with my boyfriend!**_** Never. I couldn't say that to **_**anyone. **_

**Lunch went much the same as the past two days. I sat with Ian and Jordan, but still, but Matt and David hadn't sat with us… besides from Monday and Tuesday I hadn't seen them…**

**How long could I go on like this? I felt like I was being held under water of my own will. Like a stupid fish that jumped out of the bowl to see how long it could hold its breath, forgetting to make a plan to get back **_**into**_** the bowl. And they seemed to notice that Jacob wasn't sitting with us again. They talked through the rest of the lunch hour and occasionally I would nod or shake my head, but I never said anything. **

**I was pretty much lost in my thoughts for a while and occasionally I noticed that Jacob glanced my way once or twice… because I was staring in that direction too. **

**Once the bell rang, I was about to walk to my class, but Jacob caught my elbow and stopped me. I almost didn't know who it was, but his familiar touch and warmth told me who it was immediately. "Wait." He said, not urgently, but something about his voice made me halt on the spot. "I told you, you wouldn't be able to look at me the same way." He looked down, and I was about to walk away, but he kept a gentle hold on my arm. The same kind of touch that I had been wanting, but thought I couldn't have. But why couldn't I have it? The only thing in my way… was me. Wasn't it?**

**"This is what I was afraid of… you know…Right before you were born, I was looking for someone to imprint on… thought maybe someone could take the pain away… hoped someone would. She wasn't going to stay human… and Edward was saving her, and you were in Rose's arms, and I looked into your big brown eyes… and suddenly I didn't hurt anymore… see, I only hurt now when **_**you**_** do." It had seemed like my heart had gone cold… until now… and Jacob was warming it back into life, and our eyes were melting together again… maybe not completely one… but getting somewhere… anywhere but where we had been was good. **

**"Thanks." I said, and for the first time in days I smiled. It was a light smile, but it did reach my eyes, and when Jake saw that happiness, no matter how small, on my face, it seemed like someone had just given him the best present in the world. Seeing how much a little happiness from me could do for him made me want to smile more so I could see his lovely smile, so warm and inviting, that made me want to reach out and touch his lips… but I just couldn't yet. Just not yet. Soon, maybe. So I went off to class with the slight smile stretched lightly across my face knowing that my happiness was his happiness. **

**"Someone looks happier." Ian said to me as I took my seat beside him. **

**"Ahhhhh. I wish I were happier yet…" I sighed and returned to my trans- like state… maybe things would work out. I didn't know what was harder; now know the secret, or knowing. I could have forgotten about their lies… shoved them in a closet of unvisited memories… but they would always be there. Was it better to have them out in the open, messy and jumbled up, but at least you knew what everything was and where it was? So you could clean it all up later? I really hoped so. Because that's what I did. **

**"Are we still on for tomorrow?" he asked. What was tomorrow? Oh!**

**"Sure, at least I am, I'll have to ask… Jake if he still wants to…" I said. **

**"Great! Do you guys need a ride, or do you remember how to get to my house from the school? If you can get to my house, then you guys can follow me in the car on the way to the theatre." he asked. I had been hesitant all the time about when they asked me if I needed a ride, so I just said that I remembered the way. I could show Jacob and then he could drive us there. **

**Class ended and when my family all got in the car, this time I sat between Jake and dad. But in the usual way that I might hook my arm with jakes or hold his hand, we weren't touching. It was still progress… Jazz seemed to sense the way we were both feeling, and thinking it to my father, and the corners of his lips were turned up, but only slightly, very, very slightly. So anyone who wasn't looking for it wouldn't see it.**

**When we got home, I went upstairs with Jake to his room. I needed to talk to him. I sat down on his computer chair and he sat on his bed. Our relationship was so strange. With normal humans, in this situation, would they not break up? How come I felt this undying need to have Jacob near me? Like, he was some kind of drug, and I never even knew I was addicted until he was taken away…**

**"Renesmee… how do you feel about this? I can't stop thinking about what I told you, I can't stop thinking about how you look keep looking at me… I can't stop thinking about you at all." He said. "I can't stand this!" he nearly shouted. **

**"I feel like a fish out of water… or like I've been deprived of a drug I'm addicted to." I murmured. His eyebrows furrowed and a question mark was written on his face. **

**"Then… why? What do you need? Tell me, I'll give it to you, and then you won't keep yourself away from me…""I just… it's strange. Did you even think about my **_**father?**_**" I asked. **

**"Yes, but aren't I lucky she didn't pick me? What if she had? What if… I never found you at all? I can't think about trying to live without you. Can you? And even though you're right here, doesn't it hurt when you think about us not being together?" I cringed. That hurt very much. Like having your soul being ripped from your body. Because, what was my life without him? He was my best friend. My boyfriend. And someday we would be more. Someday… because I knew that we would always be together… we had to be. So why hold this out and keep ourselves hurting? I was right; I was the only thing in my way. **

**I walked over to him and took his hand without sitting down myself. **

**"I need… you… but I need time." I dropped his hand and left the room. Why did this have to be so ridiculously hard? He was right there, I wanted him with me, I wanted feel his warm lips on mine, I wanted to laugh with him, and walk with him, and hunt with him… I would eat all the human food in the world for him! So why couldn't I let him hold my hand? Why couldn't I let him sit next to me and laugh with me and kiss me? Because even if I tried to block it out, I knew that those lips that I wanted on mine, were the same lips that used to kiss my mother. And that was just wrong. Maybe, soon though. **

**I shut his door behind me, but before I walked away I spoke just loud enough for him to hear me. "I love you Jake." I waited to hear his heart stutter before running to my room. **

**I grabbed my cell phone to call Ian about the movies. It rang almost 4 times before he finally answered.**

**"Hello?" **

**"You really need to put my number on your phone. Caller ID!" we**_** were **_**friends weren't we?**

**"Nessie?" Duh. **

**"Hey, I just wanted to say about the movies tomorrow…"**

**"Jacob coming?" He asked.**

**"…" was he? I hadn't asked yet. Did I want him there?**

**"Hello? Is he coming?" Did I want him there?!**

**"… Yes."**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for all the reviews!! Without your positive feedback, I might have had a harder time writing! stardustfaerie87**

I set my hand against Jacobs's cheek and showed him the way to Ian's house. We got in the car, Jacob was driving while I sat shotgun, and we began or trip.

All was silent in the car for minutes. I wished I could say something, but it felt like there was a block in my throat that was stopping all sound from coming through.

"You weren't crying in your sleep last night." Jake said, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"I'm not as upset anymore." Jake smiled at this, but only slightly.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked me.

"I don't know."

"I just have to wait? Waiting… that's easier said than done when you're the only thing I can think about."

"I just have to be able to look at you and not think about the fact that you used to look at her the same way you look at me," Jacob shook his head, but I put up my hand to stop him until I was finished, "or that when you kiss me, they are the same lips that used to kiss my mother, _while_ she was with my father." I put my hand down and let him speak.

"I didn't look at her the same way." He contradicted.

"Really, then how did you used to look at her?"

"When I look at you, it's like the only thing I see, and I feel like I'm the luckiest person in the world to have you with me. My heart stutters and throbs when I look at you. It wasn't the same." Blood rose under my cheeks and I smiled. Just a little more time! Just a little. We were almost, almost there, I knew if he could just wait a little longer, then it wouldn't matter to me anymore.

He pulled into Ian's driveway we got out of the car to knock on the door. Ian opened it right away and smiled brightly when he saw me, only to have his smiled dimmed when he saw who was with me.

"Alright, Jordan and I are taking one car and you two can follow behind us." He said. We got into our cars after saying hello to Jordan and then we headed off to the theatre. It was about 35 minutes- of driving the speed limit. We had to park a bit a ways, at a grocery store nearby because of course, on a Saturday night, the small movie theatre parking lot was all filled up. As we walked to the theatre, I felt a wave of uneasiness pass through our little group. We were passing empty or abandoned buildings and there weren't many street lights around. Not that it mattered much to me. I could still see fine, and Jake and I would be completely fine if there happened to be a mugger or something of the sorts around. The other two though, I couldn't speak for them. I hooked my arm through Jake's easily, like I used to always do. I loved the warmth of his familiar arm and he held my arm close to him. I could tell he felt slightly uneasy too, by the lines on his face. He looked protective, and even though I should be a little frightened, I was happy that he cared so much.

"Maybe next time we'll park closer." Ian said.

"Shouldn't you know where a good place to park is? How long have you lived in Elkins?" Jake's voice was harsh and a bit rude, but I knew where it came from. I wacked his arm and whispered silently into his ear.

"Don't be so rude, they didn't know." I said, knowing that no human could hear me. Jake and I were walking behind the other two, so they couldn't see us either. Jake wrapped his arm around my shoulder and rubbed my arm, until we were passed the scary buildings and in the safety of the car lights and neon store signs. I felt the relief in there sighs and we entered the little theatre.

Jordan and Ian both had a movie in mind, they were probably looking up movies all Friday night. I wasn't paying any attention though, like I normally don't. I took my seat between Jordan and Jake. I heard Ian whisper quietly, but not quietly enough for vampire ears. "Dude, why didn't you let me sit next to her?" angrily, he sulked on the other side of Jordan until Jordan whispered back.

"Sorry, didn't even pass my mind. We could switch now if you want… that won't look suspicious in the least." He whispered sarcastically.

Jake was shaking a little next to me, it was easy to tell because I was nearly sitting _on_ him. I hadn't realized it but his warm arm was around my shoulder, and my arm was around his waist. I was going to have to concentrate hard on not acting the way I normally did when I watched movies with Jake. I was about to calm him down when I realized he was shaking from laughter, not anger.

About a half hour later in the back of the theatre, a group of annoyingly loud teenagers, obviously drunk, about 18 started throwing popcorn at the rest of the people in the theatre. Spitting their drinks in a misty fall, and yelling and cursing. They must have been reacting to something they saw on screen, or in other words, something I wasn't paying any attention to. Why? Who did that? Jake started shaking more, but not from laughter. I was getting mad myself. I didn't usually get mad a lot. Not _really_ mad anyway. Someone ought to slap those boys around a little bit. I would do it myself, but it might look strange if a little girl could hold off 5 or 6 older teenage boys. I could though. Jake could too.

Several people were leaving the theatre in disgust saying rude remarks loudly trying to be heard. Remarks that were well deserved.

"Maybe we should go…" Ian said. We were only about a half hour into the movie! Why should we have to leave, when they're the ones being disruptive? I stood to disagree.

"Why should _we _have to leave?" quickly, low enough only for Jacob to hear, I spoke. "Can't you do something? Just go up to them and show them how tall you are." I said. I was speaking so fast, it would just look like my lips were trembling the slightest bit.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Of _course_ I could take them, but it might not be a good idea to start anything. Not here, we don't need any enemies." He whispered back to me. He couldn't talk as quickly as I, but he just had to be careful about what he said and how quietly.

Ian seemed to notice out quiet conversation. "Will you two quit google-eyeing? Let's get out of here." He said, obviously jealous.

"Yeah, maybe we can just go out to eat or something." Jacob agreed, refusing to stand up to the group of boys. For a split second I thought I might. The drunken boys were yelling awful things to us, or me in particular, as we stood up to leave. Things I would have rather never heard. Jake was shaking, too much now. And I was that close to ripping their throats out so they could never say things like that again.

Ian and Jordan took us to a restaurant nearby, not very fancy, but it was a sit down. Maybe we could still enjoy our evening. If only I wasn't fuming and clenching my fists. Jake was already calmer than I, but why should that be?

Jacob grabbed one of my fists and tried to smooth it over with his hand. After a few moments, my hand began to relax, and I unclenched my fingers, and grabbed on to the edge of the table instead.

"Careful," he whispered, after seeing my nail begin to dig right through the finished wood "you're breaking the table." That would look weird wouldn't it? Luckily, Jordan and Ian were too busy looking at their menus to notice.

We were at dinner for about an hour and a half. I just watched everyone eat their food. Nothing looked good. Of course, Jacob got some steak, to tease me he asked for it done only rare. Every time his fork dug into the meat, red liquid spilled out, making my mouth water the slightest bit. _That_ was something I might eat. If only the meat part were gone. It might look strange if I took the plate and held it against my mouth to drink the delicious smelling excess juice. When Jake was done eating, and there was plenty of left-over red on his plate, he put his arm around my shoulder.

I held back the desire to bite Jake's arm. It was so close to my face, and he smelled so good. Now I was wondering if he had been teasing me, or had sincerely just wanted beef… Jacob would have hundreds of scars where I had been him throughout his life, if only he didn't heal so fast. I was strictly forbidden to bite any human beings. But what would the harm be? I wasn't venomous…

"We're so going hunting tomorrow Jake." I said, not quit so quietly this time, forgetting our company. He chuckled a bit.

"Hunting?" Ian questioned, I guess he heard me, "you like to hunt?" he asked.

"Oh, um, well. Yes." I said.

"Hunt for meat?" he asked. This was a little uncomfortable. I think Ian could tell.

"Um, well…_he _does. We just, um, take the rest for… decorations?" I tried to sound declarative, but having made that up on the spot. It sounded like a lie. I was only lying about the decoration part.

"Cool, maybe I can see some." Ian suggested. Why was he pushing this? Could he tell we were hiding something?

"Well, actually we sell the rest, we don't keep them." Jake intervened and I tried not to look so relieved. They looked about done eating their food, so I called the waiter over for the check.

I had forgotten about my cell phone that was in my pocket. I turned it off at the movies, and I never remembered to turn it back on. Had I, I may have gotten the call from Alice. Such a silly mistake… never the less, it was a vast mistake.

**ohhhh cliffy!! Does it sound cliffy-ish? Oh well, I tried. the next one is pretty much ready, but i think i want to let the suspense kick in.**

**I know this one is shorter, but the next one is really good. I think. I hope. anyway, I hope you enjoy the next one. It's a little bit different, but i think it starts kicking the story into motion. Let me know what you think- I love, love, love reviews!**

**stardustfaerie87**


	8. Chapter 8

**okay, here goes. i _really_ hope you like it. i worked really hard on it, so if you dont like anything, no flames please. stardustfaerie87**

We left the restaurant, never having gotten her call. So we began walking back to the car in an awkward silence. It was around 11 now, and the parking lot in front of the theatre was much clearer, but still, we had the walk back to the store we parked at. Again, we started walking past the empty, vandalized buildings, with broken windows and chipped paint. It was almost completely black now, and the cars seemed even further away than last time we were walking here. I felt a little adrenaline pumping through my veins telling me to walk faster. It seemed ironic that a half vampire would be afraid of the monster around the corner. So I held Jacobs hand tighter.

I smelled it just before it came. I had enough time to dodge it, but a dirty, grimy hand grabbed the back of my hair and pulled me back, away from my Jacob. Before he could do anything, the man grabbed a jagged knife and held it against my throat. Jacob took a step towards me, knowing the silly knife couldn't bother me. I could have just moved his hand away, I could have also ducked or dodged him grabbing me, but I was all too aware of the two human boys walking with us. Was it really worth the risking exposing what we were if we weren't really in any trouble yet?

"Don't even try." His words were slurred and hardly understandable, but I recognized the voice. The same boys that were at the theatre saying those things. This man just seemed like an annoyance, easily tossed aside, and even almost funny that he thought he could damage _my _skin. But suddenly another dirty knife was set at Jake's throat and before the other two had a chance to think they were being held down by two more. Now they were saying things they wanted to do to me. Things that they said they were _going _to do to me.I wanted to rip their very voice boxes out; they seemed even more drunk than before. I wanted to cover my ears. The knife against my throat wasn't the problem. But Ian and Jordan could be killed in seconds. What would happen to Jake? If they cut his throat, he might die before he could heal.

My vision seemed to turn red, as my instincts I used for hunting came into view. I tried to ignore the dull itchiness in my throat that only ever bothered me when I was about to hunt. I didn't hunt people though. A low growl escaped my throat, it must have sounded strange because normal humans didn't growl, did they? I wasn't thinking about them though. Jacobs's body began shaking beyond control, just barely maintaining his human form, because he heard the things they said they wanted too.

Jake couldn't phase here… what was I supposed to do? If I defended myself, what if I couldn't get to the others in time? I was so angry right now. We couldn't just wait around and let those people cut their throats. If I tried to fight now, would I kill them? Killing was against the rules. I would not, could not, kill them. I could hurt someone, and I didn't want to hurt Jordan or Ian.

Everyone thought I was precious and fragile and everyone wanted to protect me. They were so wrong. I didn't need protection, my skin was harder than granite, and I was stronger and more durable than Jacob. I was only worried about my Jake.

The last two came around the corner and came straight to me. Jake was shaking too much. They started touching me with their disgusting hands and that was the last straw. My hands were free so I took their hands and crushed them, listening to the bones crack. They fell to the floor gripping their hands in agony. The one holding the knife against my throat tried to cut, but only succeeded in breaking the knife. This all happened to quickly for the others with knives to register.

"What the-?" he threw the remains of the broken blade on the ground.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When my eyelids flipped open, everything was outlined in red. That was alright, I hardly needed my vision anyway. I could smell them "Ian! Jordan! Close your eyes." They listened without asking questions and did as I demanded. Ian began to panic when he felt the rough knife scrape against his neck. With lightning speed I ran up to the one that millisecond whose knife was beginning to dig through Ian's skin and punched him in the face with incredible strength. His nose was broken, and his face was bleeding, making my mouth water. Jake took the one holding him and flipped him over his head, slamming him into the cement. Another tried to grab me but I took his wrist and dug my nails through his arm until I could feel his bone. He screamed out in agony while I shoved him to the ground and kicked him in the gut. He passed out from the pain. I wanted to lick the blood off my fingers, but a vampire frenzy wasn't what I needed right now.

Jake was working on his second- the one that had been holding me- while I moved on to my fourth. The one holding Jordan. Did I even need to go after the last one? No, he ran for it… maybe seeing his friends be all but torn to pieces by a small girl took the high off of his drunkenness. I held back the strongest desire to track him down. I couldn't even help myself. My nose took me right to him; he had run almost to the edge of darkness, so I pulled him into an alley, which was clearly empty.

"What the hell are you?" he asked, obviously horrified. I pulled my fist back to hit him in the face. "Don't hurt me! Please!" he crunched his eyes close hoping not to feel his skull crack in several places. But it never came.

In my high pitched, innocent voice, I said, "I'm what you see when you get drunk and start harassing little girls." I was only six, that pervert. I dropped him, but he fainted anyway, and I dragged him back to Jacob. Quickly he made a pile of people. Three of the people I had taken down were more damaged then the two that Jacob took. Ian and Jordan were standing with their eyes clamped tight.

I took their arms and started walking them back to the car. "Can we open our eyes now?" Ian asked anxiously.

"Not yet, but soon, everything is alright." I said soothingly. Quietly and smoothly I reassured them, and they stopped worrying for the moment. I pulled them along until we were back at the car.

"Alright, its okay now, everything is alright." I echoed myself with an almost mothering sounding voice. Like a mother telling her children that the monster under their beds was gone. But, wasn't _I _the real monster here?

We stopped and I let them open their eyes once we got to our cars. "What just happened?" Jordan asked, obviously disturbed. "We closed our eyes, and then we heard screaming and hitting, and I thought they hurt you guys." He said, almost on the brink of tears. Ian remained speechless. I came closer to them, slowly and cautiously. From what they just heard, I imagined they might be afraid. Ian took a step back, fear in his eyes.

"What…?" I began- he pointed at my shirt. I looked down and saw blood splattered across the front, and blood was on my fingers and under my nails. "No… it's…. they'll be fine… we just… they're passed out. That's it." the blood was tempting me, calling to me. I hadn't had anything to drink for at least 2 weeks. I felt awful; now was one of those times when I felt like I was a monster. What had I just done?

Ian's gaze was lost somewhere, and I tried to call out to him, but he was somewhere far. We put him in the car and drove him home, while Jordan took his car and drove home without us. He hardly said goodnight.

I flipped my cell phone open and turned it on. There was a voicemail from Alice. I listened intently and realized all this call could have saved us from. I dialed grandpa's number.

"Carlisle? Alice told you… we're fine… they need to go to the hospital… Alice can show you where they are… we're at Ian's… yes I know! I'll talk to him."

While we were in the car I noticed Jake's neck dripping with a little of delicious smelling blood. The one with the knife must have gotten him a little. I held on to my seat until we got to Ian's. But Ian couldn't move.

"Jacob, give me your shirt." I said. His had no blood on it, and I needed to go in with him. Was he really in shock? Jacob pulled his shirt off, a little confused, and I pulled it over mine. I got out of the car to open the backseat door, where Ian was sitting.

"Ian? Ian can you hear me?" I spoke fragily. I grabbed his hand and he recoiled slightly. Oh well, I'd messed up this much so far right? I pulled him out of the car with more strength than a girl of my stature could have. I pulled one of his arms around my shoulder so I could help him walk and get inside. Of course, the door was locked, so I had to knock several times. I pulled up the collar of his jacket to cover his scraped neck seconds before his mother answered the door.

"Hello? Oh my god? What happened?" she asked with concern.

"He's just really tired. I think he's sick. Do you mind if I help him get upstairs?" I asked. Of course she wouldn't say no.

"Do you need help with that honey? He must be heavy!" she exclaimed. Did I really look so weak?

"No I'm fine." I said. We got to his room and I set him down on his bed while I sat next to him trying to bring him back from wherever he was. I set my hands on both sides of his cheeks and looked him directly in the eye. "Ian! Wake up!" nothing. I took one of my hands back and slapped him in the face. Not with extra strength, but it probably still hurt. Just then he came back to me.

"You, you, you, you… the knife, and the screaming and then the blood!" he was confused and obviously jumbled up.

"Ian calm down! You have to listen to me! Those people were going to hurt you. But you're okay now! Right? You're alive." What was going to stop him from telling all about what he saw/ heard tonight? He took his jacket off to feel the spot where his neck was bleeding a little. My throat burned a little, but I tried to ignore it.

"I saw you. Their hands… you grabbed their hands and they fell… the knife… broke!" he reached up to feel the spot on my neck where the knife should have cut through.

"That's ridiculous." I said, my voice absolutely serious, hoping that maybe while he was confused, I could make him believe he didn't see anything out of the strange. "What exactly do you think I did?" I asked him.

"You broke their hands, and then the knife didn't cut you. It broke."

"You think that the knife… _broke_, because… what?" I tried to make it sound like his theory was rubbish, but I wasn't very skilled at lying, never having practiced. He felt my neck again where the knife broke against my skin. Just then he grabbed a pencil and tried to stab me. I caught his hand with my un-human reflexes, too fast, before it hit me. Way too fast.

"Did you just try and _stab _me? Haven't I had enough for one night?" I yelled at him. Angry. He just looked back at me wide-eyed. When I realized what I had just done. I felt myself blush, and I let go of his arm. What would that have looked like to his eyes? Half of a millisecond gone by and his arm was being held back, only feeling it before he could see it.

"What was that? Are you some kind of freak?!" he shouted at me. This was exactly what I was afraid of when I came to Elkins. I felt stinging in my eyes as they filled up with water, the tears all ready to spill out.

"That's what you think I am? A freak?" tears came tumbling down my rosy cheeks. I thought he was my friend! He saw the hurt on my face and tried to reach out to me, realizing what he'd said, but I shook my head and shoved his hand away.

"You didn't see anything tonight! It's all in your head! Whatever you think you saw… you were in shock!" I shouted through my sobbing and ran out of his room. I ran back to the car, to my Jacob, and we drove home together. As soon as he saw me run out of the house, he got out of the car and wrapped me up in his caring embrace.

"Did you hear? Did you hear what he called me?" I asked him. I didn't even notice Ian's open window, listening to everything I was saying.

"Yeah. You aren't a freak Renesmee." He took his hand and brushed my tears away. I supposed he didn't notice the open window either. He held me in their driveway for a few more seconds until we got back in the car.

"What are we going to do about Jordan?" I asked once my tears calmed down a bit.

"I'll take care of it. But first, I'm taking you home." He said.

Once we got home, mom and dad hovered around me giving me hugs and thanking god that we were alright. After all the concern was done with, they started asking questions about our two human boys, and that's when Jake went out to talk to Jordan. Alice and grandpa went back to the theatre to take care of the teenagers, and mom and dad once again cascaded me with hugs and relief. I was surrounded by their constant attention until Jake came back; assuring us that Jordan was going to keep quiet. Jake and I went back up to my room, gladly escaping the enjoyable, yet slightly annoying attention. Of course daddy knew that I was getting irritated, but they were just both glad, and slightly worried about me and the boys I was out with tonight.

"Jake," I breathed. He was lying on my bed and I came to lie down beside him, curled up on my side, resting my head on his muscular arm. I remembered that earlier his neck had been cut, so I sat up and inspected the wound. It was almost already healed, a pink scar. The only way anyone would have known that there had been any injury at all would be the little line of nearly dried blood.

"Does that hurt?" I asked, already knowing it probably didn't. He shook his head. I leaned down to kiss his neck where they cut him.

"I was so angry." He said with his eyes closed, almost sounding regretful.

"I know," I sat back against the headboard of my bed with his arms around me. "They were bad people." He nodded in agreement.

With his free hand, he wrapped my gold curls around his finger and I pulled myself as close as I could to him. I would be able to sleep now, draped in his warmth and love. And for the first time since I'd learned about the secret, I fell asleep in the arms I wanted to hold me.

**:D Yay! if you read this, please please please submit a review X3 stardustfaerie87**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, so i think this one is boring... i didnt really have anything in my head, and its hard to come up with something when i dont have any ideas... i didnt edit it a lot either... only because i _do_ have an idea for the next one!**

School. High school that was supposed to be great and filled with learning and… I guess I didn't know there would be anything else. Friends? Yes, but… was there supposed to be so much... so many complications? No, maybe only normal humans got to live normal. Who had I been kidding? Here was my chance to be someone, know people and redefine life. But maybe things only worked out like that for humans. Innocent, vulnerable and trusting. Simple, noncomplex humans. And then there were vampires, who could completely be something more. They could do everything, or nothing. They had so much, at a price yes, but so much. Not that there weren't any bad vampires, but weren't there bad humans as well? Saturday night had been proof of that. And here I was, caught somewhere between the two. Not quite a vampire, and definitely not human. No humans were supposed to know. Yet, here there were, two in my school now, who could destroy my life… of course they didn't _really_ know. If they knew what I really was…

School. When I got to school that day and started my classes I felt shunned. Had someone said something? No, maybe I only felt shunned because the only humans who had talked to me before were Ian and Jordan, and now they were ostracizing me. The spot that was normally open waiting for me next to Ian was filled already, and when I walked into my first class with Jake and mom, Ian wouldn't look at me. I could feel his heart leap around and he blushed, but his eyes never left his little doodles he was drawing. I pretended as if I wasn't about to take my seat next to him and sat next to Jake. Ahhhhh, Jake, this weekend we had spent so much time together, hunting, laughing, holding hands… watching movies. But despite my amended relationship, I realized, I was in need to fix more. More?!

Being rejected by my friends was hard to bear, an every time I saw Jordan and Ian block their free seats, and strain not to look near me, I could feel the stinging in my eyes, and I could feel my cheeks burning. I had to work on choking back the sob in my throat, and the tears that threatened to spill over.

Jasper sat next to me during lunch, trying to make a light conversation. He understood how I felt. Either from his special ability, or his own experience, I didn't know.

"Oh jasper!" I threw my arms around him and gave him a hug. Jasper wasn't very touchy-feely, and we normally didn't hug a lot, but if he was the only one that understood, then he was going to give me a hug. "This really sucks." Fighting to keep my voice in control.

"I know Ness, its high school though, things work out sometimes. Edward and Alice said that neither of them has said anything… or plan on saying anything soon… is that good news?" it sure was, but it still didn't help me to feel much better. Jacob was sitting on the other side of me, eating all the food trays we had, but held my hand with one of his, while he used his other hand to keep eating.

"Vanessa?" I heard someone say… couldn't be someone in my family; they would never call me Vanessa. And it wasn't the two other voices I wished I'd be hearing. I looked around to see a small group of girls, I thought they were all in my classes, but I didn't know all their names.

"Nessie." I corrected.

"Oh, hello… Nessie," the first girl continued, "Maybe you would like to sit with us today." She smiled sweetly. I thought her name was… Andrea?

"Sure," I said, but Jake was going to sit with us too, "can Jake come too?" I asked, just like the first time Ian and Jordan had asked me to sit with them. Thinking of them brought the painful stop in my throat back, and I glanced in Ian's direction. He was sitting with Jordan silently, and unsmiling. Andrea nodded hesitantly so we got up, Jake bringing both food trays and we left to sit at their table instead.

"So we heard you lived in Washington… spoons or knives or something?" she asked. There were about 3 other girls with her that were sitting with us, but so far they hardly said anything, and I couldn't remember any of their names.

"Forks." I corrected.

"Right, sorry. So what brings you here again? You said your father got a job, what does he do?"

"He's a doctor." I had to remember that she was talking about grandpa, not daddy.

"Oh… right. Did you like Forks?" She questioned, hardly talking to Jacob at all. But that's how almost everyone had acted with him so far. He was so patient!

"I loved Forks. Do you like rain?" I abruptly asked. It was relevant, but it may have not seemed so.

"Ummm… it's okay, it rains here a lot doesn't it?"

"Well yes, but Forks was so green and it rained every day… the sky was almost always gray, but it was so pretty!" Andrea gave me a little bit of a strange look, like I had said too much. When I finished, Jake got up to throw the empty trays away and joined our conversation.

"So have you always lived in Elkins?" He asked her. She nodded, not wanting to speak to him.

"What school were you going to before this?" she asked me. Uh oh! I panicked a little, trying to remember the name of mom's old high school. But I couldn't. I nudged Jake's foot with mine and thankfully he intervened and said the name of the school he went to.

"Did you both go to the same school?" She kept the questions coming, and it may have sounded a little nosy, but we were new students so maybe she just wanted to know some more about us. The rest of lunch went much the same, the probing questions from Andrea and her group. Ian and Jordan avoiding me like I had some disease. Jacob coming in at the directly right time to say something when I didn't know the answer. Like superman sweeping in to save Louis Lane.

The rest of the day was slow and painful, and in my last class, that had Ian and Jordan, also had Andrea in that class. I sat next to her, listening to her mindless chatter and gossip while Ian and Jordan sat next to each other ignoring me. Until I heard something interesting. I thought they would talk during lunch, but they were silent all the way through. They thought I couldn't hear them, but I definitely could.

"Have you thought about what happened on Saturday?" Jordan asked. Ian didn't answer and pretended to listen to what the teacher was saying.

"I called her a freak." Ian finally said. He closed her eyes and shook his head, as if trying to shake the memory away. "I made her cry."

"I ignored her completely." Jordan frowned.

"I think I should talk to her after school." Ian continued. My heart jumped. Maybe Jasper was right and this all would work out. I hoped so. I wanted so much for Ian and Jordan to talk to me right now.

"Vanessa? Are you even listening?" Andrea brought me back down to earth and she resumed her babble. My hopes were raised so high that once class ended, I almost went up to him myself. And I was devastated when I slowly walked back to my car, never having talked to him. That lair! Did he know I could hear him? And maybe he just wanted to trick me? Ooh, why did things have to be like this?

When I got home, Jake went to the kitchen like normal, and I went up to my room to check my e-mail.

_Buzz buzz, buzz buzz_

I grabbed my vibrating cell phone after just having checked that I had no new messages. I checked the caller ID. Ian was calling. My spirits rose again and I flipped my phone open. Shouldn't I be mad at him? Oh well, I was glad that he was calling me.

"Nessie?" he asked, he didn't sound happy, but kind of weary.

"Ian." I didn't know what else to say.

"Saturday, I- I don't know what came over me. I think I was in shock. But I don't think you're a freak! I don't! it's just…" I should understand that I wasn't human. I would gladly accept his apology. I had to try to understand- if I were human and completely oblivious to the secrets around me, wouldn't it be shocking when you found out all the fiction you believed to be false was actually true? Wouldn't that make you second guess everything you had classified into true/false, fact/fiction?

"It's okay Ian, I understand why… why you don't want to… be around me anymore." My eyes filled up with tears again when I realized the awful truth. They were afraid of me.

"I heard something the other night, Ness…" Heard something?

"Like what? When?" I started panicking again; I didn't say anything important did I?

"Renesmee." The blood drained from my face.

"When did you hear that?" My family was extra careful not to call me that during school and I was sure no one slipped up.

"That night, after you started crying… my window was open… Jacob said- 'you aren't a freak… Renesmee'"

"That's… that's my… can I… will you talk to me in person?" This wasn't going to be an easy conversation… especially not over the phone. And I wasn't allowed to tell anyone about our secret. I wasn't sure I wanted him to know anyway.

Just before I left, momma came up to me. "Be careful Renesmee. He shouldn't know unless he figures it out on his own."

We met at the school, like the first time he picked me up to go to his house. There was a little field in the back for soccer and football that had bleachers, so we decided to sit there to talk.

"Is that your middle name? 'You aren't a freak Renesmee'. Some kind of nickname?" he guessed.

"I… it's my… 'Nessie'- doesn't that make sense to you?" He thought that over for almost an entire minute or two. We sat there in an awkward silence until he decided to speak again.

"That doesn't really answer the question, and that's the easiest one. Are they all going to be this hard?" I nodded. He started to look almost irritated, or angry.

"What did I see that night? I remember hearing screaming and crunching. Why did I close my eyes? What didn't you want me to see?" He got angrier.

"What am I supposed to say? …Jacob is really strong… sometimes he needs to protect me." That could be my little half truth. I didn't need protection, but Jake _was_ really strong.

"So why was there blood all over _your_ shirt and not his?" I didn't answer, but instead just looked at him with pleading eyes, silently begging him not to ask any more questions. "They almost _slit my throat. _That knife couldn't cut you and… and, how did you get over to me so fast?" He should have known by now that I wasn't going to straight out answer any of these questions. "Were you the one that hurt them? Vanessa, Nessie, Renesmee, whatever you name is?" Oh so he was going to shove my secrets in my face, was he? The fact that he knew my real name wasn't colossal; however it was obvious now that I had secrets. This family was hiding something, and covering up my name was one way that it was noticeable.

I stayed unspeaking. The frustration grew in the both of us; I just didn't know what to say.

Frustrated, and finally understanding that I wasn't going to give first, he let. "Will you at least confirm that there is something different about you?" I nodded slowly. Momma said that he could guess, didn't she? "You're really strong- you crushed their _bones_… you're really fast- you stopped me from stabbing you… you were growling… I don't know what that means… Ness, I've never seen anything like it." I nodded along the whole time he spoke, silently agreeing. He clutched his hair in aggravation and sighed loudly. "I noticed something…" he continued. My head shot back up and I looked at him, worried and stressed.

"What have you noticed?" I asked, exasperatedly.

"Your family- everyone but Jacob. The other ones- Bella, Edward… Jasper… Alice… and the other two- look the same. But they aren't related. It looks like they don't get enough sun. And a lot of the time, they look like they want to kill you. It's kind of scary- no offense." I held back a giggle because that was almost true. "Are they like you?" not exactly…

"Kind of."

"Nessie. I can't do this right now. You won't tell me anything obviously, but I know you're lying. You have a secret, and you obviously aren't ready to tell me." Hold on now… déjà vu… something about that last sentence rang a bell through my memories… oh yes- I had said that before. I said it to Jacob, when I almost gave up on trying to figure out… the… secret they were… keeping from me. _Exactly_ like what I was doing to him now.

"Ian, you would be better off not knowing." That was true, and, if he did know, he could be in danger. If anything ever happened- the less he knew the better. He was about to disagree but I stopped him. "I mean- you would be safer not knowing." His heart stuttered in fear… fear. My eyes started watering and I wished that we could just go to his house and watch a movie and listen to him play the guitar. Why could things never be easy for me? Why?! Ian guiltily saw the tears that were in danger of spilling over.

"I have to go now!" I got up and threw him into a hug just before I left. "This is really hard for me." I said while my arms where around him.

"Me too." He got up to walk back to his car, and I waited for him to leave so I could run, but just before he got to his car, he turned and asked just one more question. "Honestly, how close do you live? You didn't show up with a car last time either." He waited for an answer, but it never came. "You know what, never mind." He got into his car with a huff and drove off. I didn't know what I expected from this, but… this kind of sucked. I sat down on the curb of the school for a few minutes while I waited for the tears to stop running down my face. Alice must have seen it, because Jake drove into the school parking lot then to pick me up. He got out of the car and saw the tears in my eyes with concern and pulled my up off of the ground and into his arms.  
"Shhhh, its okay." He murmured.

"I want him to know, but I also don't… I can't tell him." even if I wanted to tell him, I wasn't allowed, and I wouldn't be able to figure out a way to say it. _oh, by the way, my family is full of vampires and wolves… but don't worry! I'm only half vampire!_ I could never.

"I know what that feels like." He said, and I knew exactly what he was talking about. Karma could be a bitch.

"I wish I could make him guess right…" I said. It was wishful thinking though, who in their right minds would ever guess that. _Very strong, very fast, growls- I've got it! You're a vampire!_ This wasn't going to be easy. Why did movies and TV shows have to set such an awful stereotype about vampires? Movies could be so misleading. Then again… movies could help me… they could be the key. Maybe the subtle hint that I needed to give Ian's creativity a push. What if I could find a movie, where vampire's almost had the same qualities? Super speed and strength… maybe even some growling. Just then my tears stopped, inspired with new hope.

I set my hand on Jake's hand and showed him my brilliant new idea. He nodded in… maybe not approval, but agreement none-the-less. He drove me home and we went into my movie room with my laptop. He went through the DVD collection looking for any vampire movie he could find while I searched online for titles that perhaps we didn't own.

We sure did watch a lot of movies that night.

**so if you didnt like this one as much as me... then dont worry, stick with me because the next one is good. **


	10. Chapter 10

** in case you dont figure it out, this one is from ian's point of view. i probably wont make many like this, but it seemed neccessary. **

_**Ian**_

Two days later, on Wednesday, I got a call from... Renesmee. I wasn't sure what to call her anymore. What had happened on Saturday night… I was both amazed and frightened… she seemed so innocent. Seeing those tears in her eyes made me want to forget the whole thing. But the more I thought about it… why should I be afraid? She hadn't hurt _me._ In fact, she protected me. I probably owe my life to her, and here I was acting like a jerk. We hadn't been friends for long, but something inside me was shouting to let me trust her, and I wanted her to trust me too. She was one of the most beautiful creatures I had ever seen; stunning… dangerous… whatever she was. And what was she? Some kind of supernatural being? There was blood all over… and why couldn't she tell me?

Part of me was screaming to find out. Another part was cowering in fear of the truth. Would I think differently of her if I knew? I didn't think so. That had to be part of trust. She had to trust me to believe her and still be able to look at her the same way… but if that were the case, could I allow her to trust me? If only to break her trust? My brain was so full it was tearing me apart. All I could do was answer her call.

She almost sounded like nothing happened. She called, almost cheerfully, asking if I could come over and watch some movie that I had never heard of. I should have said no, right? I couldn't help it; it was like her voice had persuasive qualities. I didn't _want_ to stay away from her. And she had asked me to go to _her_ house. I was curious. She said she remembered how to get to my house, and that she would come pick me up with Jake. My heart was pounding in anticipation and alarm. Would her whole family be there? The murderous looking group of…

I had been spending days and nights thinking about this. Were they some kind of super hero? Or something else? Hopefully time would tell. And hopefully I wouldn't regret it.

I waited in my driveway in complete silence, shaking with anxiousness. She came with Jake to pick me up; while we were driving I kept every turn in my head. Maybe I could get here on my own again.

We pulled into an enormous house, by my standards, and my jaw dropped. Nessie giggled and pulled my arm to snap me back to life. I walked inside to see marble floors, crystal chandeliers, glass tables, and a grand piano off to the side of the main entrance.

"Wow. You guys sure have one heck of a house." Was that really all I could say? I was so lame!

"Thanks, she smiled and looked down, as if her happiness was dimmed by something from her memory. Jacob tapped her arm and moments later she snapped her head back up with her beautiful smile and pulled me up the grand stairway.

"Where are we going?"

"To the movie room!" she had her own movie room? How rich were these people? Was that something that she wanted to hide? A part of her secret? Or coincidence?

She opened a door to a room laid out with white walls- and it would have looked boring, had it not been decorated with red curtains and a red carpet under a bed with a red comforter and with around a hundred pillows all stacked up on each other. Wait… this was her bedroom right? My heart sped up a little.

"This is my room," she walked me over to another door, "the movie room is in here!" she must've _really_ liked to watch movies. This room was around the same size as hers, but it was darker. There was a black leather couch against the back wall, sitting in front of one of the biggest plasma's I'd ever seen. There weren't any windows, so the sun was blocked out, not that it was shining today anyway. The walls were painted a light gray, and there were black and white paintings hanging from each side of the walls.

"Okay…" she got the movie she asked me to watch with her from the table and stuck it in the DVD player, while Jacob sat himself down on the couch. She walked back over to the couch and sat herself down right next to Jake… or maybe almost _on_ Jacob. "Sit!" she said, because I was still standing in awe of the rooms by the door.

I sat down on the other side of her, not too close though. I might have been a little jealous… why couldn't she hold onto _my_ arm like that? I hadn't been realizing that I was staring at them, sitting together, like pieces of a puzzle. She started turning her head a bit, and my eyes flashed to the screen. I had hardly been paying attention to the movie… when I had been looking at her, there was something strange about her expression. I turned and glanced once more. I saw it now, she seemed a little scared herself. That was ironic. But was it the movie that was scaring her?

In the movie… what had it been called? The lost boys? I thought so. The main character was brought in by a group of vampires, and he accidentally turns into one himself. But he wouldn't be all vampire until he killed someone. He falls in love with the girl- she's a half vampire.

Right now, we were watching the part after the main character gets into a fight with the girl and she's trying to explain herself. She runs up to the second story window… by running up the wall I assumed. My thoughts started wandering off about that. You would have to be running pretty fast to not fall back down, or to stop gravity from affecting you. Kind of like superman, except he could just fly up to the window. You would think the girl in the movie wouldn't flaunt that kind of power when the main character's brother was right there. Although, if _I_ could move like that, I would want to do it all the time. Wouldn't it be cool if people had powers like that. _Look here! I real live superman! He's strong, he's fast, he growls!_

Wait.

Superman didn't growl… but Nessie did.

What was I saying? What was Nessie saying? I glanced at her again, and fear was stricken in her eyes. Did she pick this movie for a reason?

I ran the movie through my head again. Half vampires, vampires… ha-ha! My head was just fooling with me. Nessie said she liked to watch movies, maybe she liked this one, and wanted me to see it too. Maybe she looked scared because she already knows what happens. My imagination was getting wayyy out of hand. It almost seemed rude.

Suddenly she paused the movie and got up to put a different one in. why? We were just at the climax!

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I just remembered, I've already seen this one, I don't really want to watch it. Too scary." I was right, she'd already seen it and she was scared because of what happened next.

This one was also about vampires, but it had werewolves in it too. I couldn't remember the title, but the main characters were a beautiful vampire and a werewolf, and despite the feud between the two species, they fell in love. Something kept tugging at the back of my mind. I didn't know she liked vampire movies. But there was a disturbing resemblance. In both movies, the vampires were speedy… and usually really strong. Did it help or hurt to say that there was also some growling there?

Nessie couldn't tell me what she was… but was this some way of trying to communicate it to me? In the slight chance that that was what she was doing- and it was probably just my imagination- what exactly was she trying to tell me?

What did the two movies have in common? They _both_ had beautiful, strong, fast, vampires… except, in the first one, the girl was only a half vampire. Nessie was beautiful too. What was I saying? That Nessie, _Nessie_, was a… a vampire? I tried to convince myself it was rubbish. But my mind couldn't shake it off completely. What else could she be saying? That her family was all…

Unexpectedly the room seemed to get smaller, like it was a hot prison cell that I had been trapped in for hours. I wanted to get out of here… was I in danger? What if I was right? What if her house was full of freaking _vampires?_

No, Ian, no. Just _no_. I had to keep my head. This was ridiculous… but the more I thought about Saturday night, the more likely it seemed. Unintentionally, I began to lean away from the girl sitting next to me. Moments ago, hadn't I wished that I had been _closer_ to her? I took a glance in her direction- her face had gone from fear, to sadness. Had she seen me pull away?

Abruptly, I felt guilty again, seeing her eyes filling up with glistening tears. I leaned back towards her. I thought she could trust me didn't I? And even though I'd never promised her anything, I felt like I had to carry it through. Earn her trust… I had to, if she was planning on trusting me with _this._ If only I knew for sure that she was actually saying what I thought she was.

I couldn't focus all through the rest of the movie. Not at all. Didn't remember what happened, but I could remember the feeling of terror, thinking that maybe at any moment I could be attacked just like someone in the movies. And I didn't want to feel that way at all. Then came the wave of guilt. _That_ was me not trusting her. If she trusted me enough to bring me here, tell me what she was, then she had to have had the certainty that I was safe.

Then again, maybe that was exactly what I wasn't… yet I couldn't see her betraying me like that. She might not be as innocent as she looked, but she was definitely trust worthy.

Jacob lifted his wrist to read the time on his watch and stood up, before the movie was over. I guessed there was 10 minutes left. At the most.

"I just remembered, that Rosalie asked me to give her a ride home from the salon. That was like… 20 minutes ago, so I think that's long enough to make her wait." Nessie giggled, but I didn't get it. Soon enough though, it was just me and Ness, sitting in the room alone.

Did I ever think her to be dangerous? To me? Maybe to someone bad, but I was her friend. And she was still the same person I met two weeks ago.

When the movie was over, she turned to me with hesitant eyes. her behavior only made my theory grow stronger.

"Ness…" her eyes filled up with… hope, but I didn't know why, "can you take me home?" her eyes dropped back down and her cheeks grew an even brighter red. She nodded wordlessly.

I stood up and grabbed her hand with a boost of courage to pull her up. she tried to wipe away the single tear that rolled down her cheeks disappear before I could see it, but I could see it.

She drove me home, without talking the whole way, just until I was getting out of the car.

"Can I… sit with you tomorrow?" she asked me. I didn't know. I had to let this all sink in first.

"I don't know. I'll see you tomorrow." I got out of the car, rudely, it seemed even to me, and after I stepped inside my house I looked out the window to see her before she left. She was sitting in the car with her head leaning up against the head rest and tears were cascading down her brilliantly red face. she pushed her gold curls behind her ears and wiped her tear away the best she could and took a deep breath before rolling down my driveway.

I just made her cry again.

I just had to be patient, knowing, that I could trust her. She would clear up this jumbled mess.

When I got home, my parents both seemed concerned with my attitude.

"You know… you kind of had the same look on your face last time you were with that girl…" mom said. When was the last time? My mom opened the door? Wow, I must have really zoned out. I remember getting into Nessie's car… and then… and then she slapped me and I was back in my room.

"Sorry mom. I'm… tired, I think I'll go to bed now." she checked the clock as I made my exit up the stairs.

"But it's only-"

"Goodnight mom, love you." I knew it was only 6. But whatever. I just found out that vampires existed.

I wonder… one of the movies she showed me had werewolves…


	11. Chapter 11

"Wow, I can't believe we're already done with the first quarter!"

"Yeah… I know, it went by pretty fast, Andrea." I replied without much enthusiasm.

"Well, hurry up, we're going to be late for lunch." Lunch… this was my least favorite time. Because, in this little half hour of my day, there was a boy, sitting in the corner of the lunch room who did his best to avoid me at all costs. And no one besides him, me, and my family knew the reason why.

And in these three first months of school, he had discovered what I was. With my help.

This boy was Ian, and he hadn't spoken with me in nearly all that time. I took my normal seat next to Jake and Andrea and all the other girls in her group, that I had learned their names to be Jasmine, Gabi, Mary, and Madeline. We went shopping nearly every weekend and we had slumber parties, and make-over's, but despite the smile planted fakely across my face, I wasn't happy. Not. One. Bit. Lucky for me, none of these mindless girls could tell that when I laughed, it was strained and all the while I would pretend I was laughing with Ian and Jake instead of them.

Not that they weren't nice. They were sweet, but sometimes they seemed snobby. Unfair. And maybe to go as far as heartless. All they really wanted, all they really cared about was what people thought about them… their popularity, I suppose. Telling lies and creating stories to win the affection of anyone they wanted, and sometimes even making fun and teasing others when they felt insecure about themselves. But if that were the case, I guess I was right where I was meant to be. Because I cared an awful lot about what Ian thought about me. Sometimes I felt like I thought just like them. Having spent so much time with Andrea, I had a peek into the minds of the conceited.

Andrea babbled on to her clique while I peeked into the corner that Ian was hiding in. He sat alone now, no longer by Jordan… a few months ago, he gave up on little Ian. He was quiet now… disturbed. I was destroying his life. And I needed to fix it.

"Honestly Vanessa," Andrea began, never calling me Nessie as I had requested so long ago, "how come you never eat anything at lunch? Are you anorexic or something?" I shook my head slowly. Ian would never accuse me like that. "You know," she said talking to the whole group now, "I heard about this one girl once who was anorexic and she…"

Lunch continued like this all the way through and I thankfully hadn't needed to say more. I really had to do something about Ian before he jumped off a cliff or something. I quickly devised a plan.

In my last class, with Ian, and Andrea, I walked in to see Ian sitting alone like normal. Andrea walked in, but I told her to go on without me. I waited until there was only 20 seconds before the bell rang when I went inside to take my seat. Not the normal one, next to my pretend friend. But instead next to Ian. The bell rang and the teacher walked in, before he had time to do anything about it.

Ian turned and looked at me with confused eyes, while the blood rose under his skin on his cheeks.

"Hi." I said to him.

"Nessie?" oh no, he didn't feel afraid did he? That had been the only reason I hadn't tried so hard to be near him. If he was frightened of me… there was no need to push that on anyone, and what was a friendship, when that person didn't want to be near you?

"Is it alright if I sit here?" I asked, knowing it was too late to move now, and smiling like I hadn't realized that.

"Like I have a choice right?" I ignored him and I saw the corners of his lips twitch, but I didn't know what that meant. Was that a hint of a smile? A slight echo of happiness? Or was it hesitance? Fear?

"Can I talk to you after school?" I asked him. Maybe I could clear this up. Maybe if he knew I wasn't a bad vampire he wouldn't be so scared. Maybe if he knew I was only half vampire that could help too. Hopefully. Or would affirming his suspicions be worse? No, nothing was worse than _this._ I didn't want to be in Andrea's group anymore. I never really had. They never really sparked my interest, but I thought- 'who knows? Maybe they'll be nice!' now no one could say that I was being judgmental.

Ian nodded slowly to my previous question. My heart fluttered throughout the rest of the class. I walked out, just behind Ian and I heard Andrea huff behind me to Jasmine, whispering quietly enough had I been human I wouldn't have been able to hear. "What was that she pulled in there? You know, all the guys are like in love with her, it's so cruel to lead him on when it's _so_ obvious she's always clinging to Hale." She said, she always called him Hale, knowing that he was not the only Hale in my family. I thought maybe she hated using his first name because it made him seem more like a person."Maybe share the attention, but I see she isn't interested. Maybe I'll try sabotage instead."

"My god, she is like totally clueless." Jasmine replied. So it seems none of them ever liked me anyway. I just sighed. Wouldn't it have been nice to turn around and smack her one…

"Ian, can I meet you by your car?" I asked, and he nodded. I needed to tell Jacob to drive home without me.

"Jacob, I'm going to go talk to Ian." Jake's eyes filled with hesitance instantly but didn't disagree.

"Okay, be careful though Ness." I most likely wasn't going to be.

I climbed into Ian's car without an invitation. "Where are _you_ going?" Ian asked me, a little sarcastically.

"_We_ are going to your house, so I can talk to you." I declared. Surprisingly he didn't argue and got in the car.

We went up to his room, like the time I brought him home that Saturday night.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Ian asked dimly.

"I think you know. I don't want you to avoid me, or be afraid of me or whatever is going on. Ian we're friends aren't we?" he looked down and then to the side thinking it over.

"I don't know how to handle this… I want to hear you say it. Tell me what you are. You know I already know- just… just say it. So I don't feel like I'm insane." He looked just about ready to crack. What had I done to him? What would be the easiest way to say it? I thought for almost a complete minute before I settled on the easiest, simplest, scariest way, and set my hand against his cheek.

His body jolted back instantly, taken with surprise, while I summed up my short life, skipping over things that were too important, and emphasizing over the fact that, 1. I'd never killed anyone, 2. I was only half vampire, and 3. I wasn't a bad person. I tried to steer clear of the fact that Jake was a werewolf/shape shifter, and that we imprinted. I thought that would be too much information to handle at once. It didn't hurt to add things in; like that most of the vampire myths relayed from movies were false.

It took minutes until I was done, until I looked in his eyes. And what was it that I saw there? At first, concentration… then realization… and weariness… acceptance? He looked down. I wished I had daddy's ability sometimes. Knowing what he was thinking would have been wonderful.

"You are a vampire. A vampire." He tested the sound of that. "A vampire." He looked highly uncertain.

"Only half." I corrected. He raised his eyebrows as if to say _it's not like it makes a difference. Half vampire and all vampire._ "It's really not so bad. Why are you so concerned?" I asked.

"Vampires. Vampires seem so dangerous. But- whatever you did- "said" that you weren't bad." I nodded quickly.

"Never bad."

"If I asked you more questions, would you answer them?" what more could it hurt?

"Right now?"

"Not necessarily."

"Then yes." I could answer all of his questions couldn't I? But wouldn't it be smarter to go at a leisurely pace?

"Okay then." He bit his lip. "There is nothing I need to be afraid of, right?" I shook my head as fast as I could, my curls swinging in my face. Then for the first time in god knew how long, I saw the corner of his mouth turn up into a smile.

I threw my arms around him in a hug. "I'm so happy!" maybe now he would sit with me and talk to me and him, Jake and I could all have fun together. It had taken me a long time, but this was all going to work out, wasn't it?

"Nessie… will you sit with me tomorrow at lunch?" my face lit up. "And Jake too." he added. My smile was bright, and I really felt happy. His face was happy too… but suddenly the worry returned.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He didn't change his mind did he?

"What are you going to do about Andrea and her loyal followers?" he asked, with a little sarcasm on Andrea's group.

I shrugged because the answer was simple wasn't it? "I'll just tell them I want to sit with you…" but Ian was shaking his head before I even finished.

"Andrea's not like that. I don't think she'll take it so easy." I started giggling.

"What would she do to stop me?" he laughed a little too at the irony of it.

"She'll do _something._ She'll try and make you cry, try to humiliate you. Something."

"Why would she do that?" I asked. So my work wasn't done. "They don't like me anyway." I said, recalling the Andrea's earlier comment. "They said they wanted to sabotage me… and that they only liked me because other people liked me." I said, not including the part about me leading him on. How could I be leading someone on, when I was just trying to be their friend? They were right- it _was_ obvious I was with Jacob, so why would they even think like that?

"Exactly. If you help their popularity, then they want you around them. Because everyone focuses on your group. Andrea can't help that she's jealous of you." jealous? Why was she jealous if everyone loved her?

"Everyone loves her." I said.

"But everyone loves you more." He said, very quickly after me. "You're more beautiful, you're nice, and you're sweet. She's not." He said. Did he really think I was beautiful. More so than Andrea? His face started to turn a vivid shade of red…

"Thanks." I said shyly. He nodded in return. "But, I really don't think I have to worry about that."

"Really? Why not?" I set my hand against his cheek again to show him- and I wasn't sure it was a good idea, but Alice would see anything coming and stop it, and daddy would help too.

"Oh!" he exclaimed exasperatedly. "Well then, I don't think we really have anything to worry about."

I laughed and nodded. Until I remembered something. "Well… unless Andrea has a plan that has to do with Jake… Alice… she can't… see Jake in the future." I hadn't explained yet to Ian about what Jake was. Should I? Wasn't one mythical creature enough for a lifetime?

"What is he? He's obviously not… a vampire… I feel like I'm in a freaking movie." He was right… Jake wasn't a vampire. Was it safe to say he was human? Most of the time…

"He's a… shape shifter. He changes into a wolf. We all say that he's a werewolf… but he's harmless really." He wasn't _really_ harmless. He could inflict injury if he wanted to. I just showed him. He still wasn't used to the shock, but he had to know that unlike real werewolves who lost control of their minds when they changed, and only changed in a full moon, he could phase whenever he wanted, and had full access of his thoughts. I didn't mention that there _were_ werewolves in the world, that was just something he didn't need to know. I'd never actually seen a werewolf, but I remembered when the volturi came when I was a little girl, that they wanted to hurt my Jake because they thought he was a real werewolf. That was when saying he was a shape shifter came into his defense.

He sighed. "Oh well, right. Who knows what's next?"

"… Are you okay?" I asked him after countless moments passed.

"Yeah. I think so." He finally answered. "I guess… it shouldn't matter what you are… because you're still my friend. It doesn't change you… because that's what you've been all along… You know Ness, the world could use more people like you."

"More half vampires?" I asked. Some people in the world _did_ think that. But it wasn't a good idea. Not everyone in the world would use that power the right way. Power can be corrupt.

"No, I mean. People like _you._ Not everyone is so… wonderful. You're more honest than… most people, and trustworthy. If I ever doubted you, I'm sorry Ness. It doesn't matter what you are." Oh, my god. How long I'd been waiting to hear him say that?

I hugged him again, and glanced at the clock. I'd been gone a while…

"Thank you so much Ian. You're a good friend… I'm sorry I had to put you through all this."

"It's okay."

"I think I better get going for now. I'll see you tomorrow." I gave him another quick hug before making my way out of his room.

"You need a ride?" he asked- I thought more out of politeness. He already knew what I was going to say.

"No…" I walked back over to him and "showed" him how I got home.

"Can you climb through a second story window?" he asked. Just like the girl in The Lost Boys had.

"Hmmm, I never really tried… maybe I'll check that out sometime!"

"Let me know how that works."

"Sure! I'll see you tomorrow." I walked human slow out of his room, emphasizing each step. "Bye!"

I thought over our conversation as I ran back to my house. I could not wait to tell Jacob. I ran into the house with more enthusiasm than my family had seen in weeks.

I found him sitting on his computer chair, but he had heard me coming and got up to say hello.

"Hey, so how did it go?" I nearly knocked him over and he laughed with surprise. Without warning I pressed my lips against his for a short kiss and wrapped my arms around him. I set my head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat for an immeasurable moment, while he held me close with one arm and played with my hair with the other. How long had it been since I had just spent time with him? A while… perhaps my hiccup relationship with Ian had set my mood array, and I had been so upset I didn't want to enjoy things. That must have been it, because even though the past three months I had laughed and enjoyed myself briefly, it didn't last and most of the time it was miserable, outweighing everything else.

"It went perfect!" I set my hand against his cheek to show him everything that Ian knew now and that we would be able to take out normal seats next to Ian again!

"Good. Andrea and her gang were really getting on my nerves!" he exclaimed. "They said a lot of mean things to you." he said. That was very true.

That night I was shaking with excitement for the following day to come. I hadn't felt like that for a while and it felt nice to look forward to something. I got up extra early, much like I had the first few days of school, except this time, I didn't wait to wake Jake. The sun was shining this morning too, so it would only be me and him today. I didn't really mind that either… it seemed like Jake could be closer when the rest of the family wasn't there… we didn't have to be so careful when my parents weren't around watching us like hawks. Even if their eyes weren't directed on us, there were so many other ways that they could keep track of us… mind reading… future seeing… and they could hear our whispers.

I rushed to school, well aware that there was too much time before school started to leave, but I didn't care. I thought maybe if I got there sooner, the sooner I would see my friend… but I was even more impatient when I got there. Jake and I sat in the cafeteria while we waited for the rest of the student body to arrive at last.

When it seemed like I might die from anticipation, Ian finally arrived. I didn't see him, but I could smell him somewhere here. We found him within minutes.

In our first class, the tables were joined for some sort of group project… I hadn't been listening to what exactly we had to do though because my thoughts were so preoccupied. Could today be anymore perfect? This way I got to sit next to my boyfriend Jake, and across from my best friend, Ian!

The classes buzzed by through a hazy blur… that is until lunch came around. The single half hour that I had been dreading for months… suddenly didn't seem so dreary.

"There you are Vanessa, come on!" Andrea came and found me in the lunch line waiting for Jake to get his trays of food.

"Oh, hi Andrea." I faked a smile like I had been doing for months and Andrea gladly accepted its falseness. I was fairly sure she knew that I didn't _love_ being part of their clique. "Is it alright if I don't sit with you today?" I asked, understanding from Ian's warnings that it might not be so easy. Especially when I didn't have daddy or Alice around to make sure things were all right.

"What do you mean? You're not sitting with us?" she asked, a little stunned by the suddenness.

"Well, Ian asked me to sit with him today." I said, trying not to look so proud.

"But you'll sit with us tomorrow." she said this more like a demand than a request and I took offense. Better not to start a scene though… I didn't want her to hate me. I just wanted to sit with Ian. My _real_ friend.

Jake came then with his trays and interrupted. "Come on Ness, let's go." Even though Andrea had made an effort to downsize Jake with rudeness and insults, she was still intimidated by Jake and hated the feel of being powerless. If only she knew how strong I really was, I doubt she would bother with me either.

I walked away, but before I turned I watched Andrea's eyes glare in my direction and her jaw dropped slightly giving the look that said _how dare she._ Had no one defied her before? Hopefully there weren't any plans developing in her head, because I didn't have my safe haven today. No one to protect me from people's minds.

Eventually I sat down in my seat, and Andrea in hers and we continued lunch in our separate ways.

"You were right Ian, she didn't take that very well." I said, quietly, and for some reason slightly worried. What if she tried to do something? I wouldn't be ready for it. I didn't normally have the feel of being defenseless, but with lack of information I felt just like that.

"I knew she wouldn't." he said while taking of bite of pizza. I crinkled my nose. I knew I didn't like human food so much… but really. How could people eat _that._ Dripping with grease and covered with cheese. It was like eating a slice of pure fat.

Ian noticed my sense of distaste, but I hadn't meant for it to show. "Do you eat food?" he asked me. Jake tensed slightly, but I doubted that Ian would see it. What was the harm in answering this now?

"I _can_ eat food." I said. I didn't really want to go into the specifics about my diet, but if he asked me, I probably wasn't going to lie. I had done enough lying, hadn't I?

"But you don't?" he asked. Please don't ask… "What do you eat then?" dang it.

"Well. Do you really want to talk about that during lunch?" sometimes people could lose their appetites…

He nodded, although uncertain. I had showed him the previous day that I had never killed anyone, but I never did show him what we _did_ eat. Or rather, drink. Sometimes thinking of the right words didn't always work, and I was pretty bad at it, considering that I used my ability so often with my family, I didn't often have to use words to convey ideas.

I set my hand against his cheek and his heart skipped around. Was he thinking of the previous times I had done this? It was definitely surprising… but it didn't hurt. Maybe he was worried about the answer he would get. I showed him anyway… the memory of me hunting a mountain lion. It was daddy's favorite, and sometimes he and I would have contests to see who could get the largest one. He usually let me win.

Ian's eyes went wide, but I was almost sure that at this point anything I said might pass and he would remain my friend regardless.

He sighed and let the images sink in, until he said something random and a bit off topic. "You know Ness… remember the day you showed me those vampire movies… I made a promise in my head that I could let you trust me to not freak out about your secret…" my heart sped up. What was he saying… maybe I shouldn't have been so sure… "And even though I never promised that to you… I'm sorry I broke It." there was sadness in his eyes. But did he really think of such a promise? That was sweet. It reminded me so much of when Jake told me his secret about him and mom… I told Jake that I thought he didn't trust me because he was worried about what my reaction would be. I did the same thing to Jake that Ian did to me. A bit of a strange cycle…

"It's really okay Ian." I smiled at him "I've done the same thing." I looked down and took subtly took Jake's hand.

My heart was practically jumping from excitement throughout the day. I thought I might have a heart attack or something. But something strange happened in the last class. Andrea, who I had thought to be mad at me, seemed finished with her fuming anger and sweetly smiled in my direction. I tensed, thinking this was fake, but she let me sit with Ian regardless. At the end of class, she came up to me. "Sorry if I seemed a bit upset earlier…" it sounded sincere and I couldn't help but to believe she was telling the truth… I knew she had to be lying though.

"It's alright." Dang it! Why couldn't I just drop it and leave it alone?

"Well, see, I was wondering…" she started. She seemed shy about something. She looked down with her feet slanted inward and her hands behind her back. She looked so innocent at the moment. Like she couldn't hurt a fly. But I knew she was much more capable than that. Or maybe I had just assumed her to be more dangerous than she really was. "Will you help me with something?" she asked finally.

"What do you need?" I asked, still not fully returning the sweetness of her tone. She pulled my elbow over into a corner that less people were in.

"See, there's this… boy that I like… and I was wondering if you would do me a favor." She let it all slip out and looked around quickly to make sure no one was listening.

"Okay, what do you need?" if this was a trick, it seemed harmless. Didn't it?

"Well, I was wondering if you would ask him if he would go out with Me." she quickly said it all, wanting this conversation to be over… maybe thinking someone would overhear. The chaos in the halls was starting to lessen, so it wasn't likely that anyone would hear at all.

"What boy?"

"Jordan." She said. Oh. The Jordan that used to be my friend? That was a bit of a shock… Jordan?

"oh. Well… do you want me to ask him now?" who knew if he would talk to me at all?

"would you?" she pleaded. Her eyes filled up with hope. This seemed weird. Usually she didn't seem so nice.

I nodded "stay here." I told her, and then left her to go find Jordan, who like he did every day, was standing over by his car, waiting for the parking lot to file out so he would be able to make it out easier. I walked up to him quickly.

"Jordan?" he turned around and his eyes went wide. Don't run…

"Nessie?" he sounded very surprised, but I didn't blame him. "what do you want?" that wasn't very nice sounding. Geez, you would think he'd be a little more greatful to the person that saved his life.

"well, you know Andrea right?? He nodded, "well she asked me to ask you if you would go out with her." He seemed even more shocked than before.

"Andrea? Like the Andrea _you_ hang out with?" I nodded.

He left then… where was he going? That was the direction Andrea was in… so I suppose that was a yes. "she's outside the bio room!" I called after him.

I found Jake and we went home. I couldn't help but smile all the way. Everything was so perfect! I had my friend back, Andrea would be preeocuppied with Jordan, and vise versa, now Jordan wouldn't be so upset all the time, and I had no quarrels with Jake! if I knew that talking to Ian would have been so easy, I would have done it long ago! Who knew that Andrea liked Jordan either?! It was hard to sleep that night though… so I watched a movie with Jake instead.

**ohhh! so what do you think? i know that the whole thing with ian went REALLY fast, but i mean... i was getting sick of that. so i was all like-- gah! i miss IAN!! sorry for you readers, but you have to wait and see what happens next... i already know! lucky me!**


	12. authors note :

OK people. Don't get your hopes up. You see, at my school, I have been working on MUN like crazy, and until that's over I just don't have time to write. But, never fear, MUN will be over this Saturday when I can really start to focus on my story. I have the next chapter semi-written, but not enough to post. Thank you everyone

~~stardustfaerie87


	13. Chapter 13

**I AM SO SORRY! i know i took a very long time! im so sorry, i had MUN in school, and then with exams coming up, and then in two weeks im going back to the US, so if i dont write for a little while, no worries! i hope it doesn't take me this long to write the next chapter. **

So what do you do? When someone gains your trust, and stabs you in the back, how do you respond? Do you attack them back, and let everyone think the worst of you? Do you sink as low as their level? Or do you try and brush it off? Turn the other cheek. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, doesn't it? But wouldn't someone such as Andrea deserve some kind of rash punishment? Like what?

Despite the fact that neither Alice nor daddy had been at school on Friday according to the sun rays shining through the pearl gray clouds, I had heard grave news over the weekend. Hadn't I had enough problems for a while? Over the weekend I had heard that Andrea, my shallow, unfeeling friend, perhaps wasn't so unfeeling after all. Thinking for one second that her cold, lifeless heart had somehow warmed itself back to life, beating in a healthy, steady rhythm, was too much luck for me. In fact, perhaps the opposite occurred. Her heart froze over… perhaps even shattered, and then she burned the pieces, so it wouldn't make a mess.

Perhaps I was too trusting to live in a world like this. Why _couldn't_ you go around doing favors and sharing secrets and living life? It wasn't enough for one person to be honest; the whole world had to be. And as long as there were people like Andrea- people who hurt other people because they couldn't enjoy their own life enough- I had to learn that life couldn't be as easy as I thought. I was too innocent. Too trusting. And I hated to think that I might have to treat anyone differently than that, but as long as there were other Andrea's in the world, it was important, maybe vital to be more careful. Tell a few more lies.

But the last thing I wanted was to have to tell one more lie. Because that made me feel just like her.

I wanted no more than to watch some movies with Ian and Jake. Maybe even have some petit gateau, or go hunting. I wanted to kiss my Jacob, and walk with grandpa. I wanted to go driving with Ian and watch Jake fix up some cars. I wanted to stay forever with my wonderful Jake and be together with my family. But I wanted to have all of my family. I wanted to be human.

I knew it was too strange that Andrea liked Jordan. Because she didn't. She told him I made it all up to hurt him. Why would I do that? Eventually he spilled about what I did that dreadful Saturday night. Blabbed all of it. And Alice only found out seconds too late to stop him. So Andrea knew I was different before… but now. What was she going to think now? What was she going to do? Oh, and Jordan did his best to contact every one he knew and tell them I was a lying slut.

Luck was never ever with me, except for one thing. I had connections. Like a mob boss. I had people who could read the thoughts of my enemy, and read the outcome of the battle. So was the battle worth fighting? I wasn't sure what exactly she was going to do yet. She hadn't decided herself. So on Monday, I walked into school for the first time in the shadow of an unknown cloud. Like a downpour of possibilities being splashed all over my face. I wouldn't know until she did.

But they didn't really _know _what I was. And that was good. Andrea couldn't use against me what she couldn't explain. If she were to go around telling people that she thought I was some sort of super-being, they would mark her off as insane. And that was good.

"She's scaring me." I said to Jake, as I clinged a little closer to his arm. Andrea was glaring and avoiding… and it seemed like it might be hard to do them both at the same time.

"Believe it or not, Edward told me she's a little scared of you herself." Jake informed me. Who wouldn't be scared of a little monster like me?

I felt on edge the entire day, watching over my shoulder, listening extra careful. I didn't really have to worry about her blabbing here at school, Alice or dad would catch that right away and stop it.

I had to watch almost the entire school body give me disapproving looks and shameful glances. I heard whispers that burned my ears and the sharpness of their words stabbed my ears and heart.

"You know, I really thought she was different."

"She's worse than Andrea!"

"Sweet on the outside, evil on the inside."

"She seemed really nice, I guess I was wrong."

"She thinks she can get whatever she wants because she's pretty?"

"I bet her whole family is like that."

"Just because they look like models, doesn't mean they're better than us!"

"What a whore. Wonder how her boyfriend feels about that."

"I bet they think they can do whatever they want because they have so much money."

Were all humans like this? Maybe vampires were too… but I only knew a few people in the world. Did people do things like this…? Were they all the same? Could I trust any of them? I trusted grandpa. He was family, he would never hurt me. He loved me, a lot. But Ian… I trusted him too… but should I? He was my best friend. I felt kind of like I loved him like a brother, a close friend. But did he feel the same way? A kind of trusting love felt between a brother and sister, or cousins? What if I just assumed that the feeling was mutual? Maybe I gave him too much trust. Having to second guess everything was killing me. I should never have to wonder things like this… I felt horrible just having the thoughts run through my head. Horrible. He didn't deserve to be cross-examined like this. I thought the world was unfair, but who was being unfair now? He never did anything that made me think he was going to betray me. Perhaps he avoided me for a while, but that was entirely understandable in every way. I had been angry and hurt when he wouldn't look at me… but having spent months going over the reasons why, I couldn't help but feel I might have done the same thing if I were a human living a paper-thin life.

Ian didn't even question whether or not I had done the cruel things everyone was talking about. He was on my side, and I had heard him defend me.

Humans were so insignificant. They could be hurt so easily and they hardly even knew it. I didn't have to worry about feeble knives breaking the marble skin of my throat. But their skin would be cut like warm butter with just a scratch of my razor sharp, blade like nails.

_What was I saying?_ Why would I be thinking like that?! It sounded awful and I ran through the words I had just thought. I was thinking like a little monster. Like a vampire. Humans weren't that fragile, and even if they were easy to death, they all had lives and every single one of their lives meant something to someone.

Right?

After class I came up to Jordan, and whether he liked it or not, and whether or not it was a good idea, I was going to talk to him. He tried to rush out, cutting people off and pushing to get through, but it was silly and futile to run from _me._ I caught up to him easily.

"What is your problem?" I asked, with a little more attitude than I intended. Why would he have told Andrea _that?_ With the chance that she would believe him was so thin, whether or not he was hurt, that would have been something to keep to himself.

"_My _problem? It's you, Nessie, because ever since you got here, you've been playing mind games with us all." He started counting off of his fingers, "first, you lead everyone on and then cling to Jake to make us know that you're too good for us. Then you run around like a freaking superhero with no explanation, and lastly, with Andrea. I guess you've spent a little too much time with snobby people who get a kick from other people's embarrassment!" he stormed off to leave me with shock. His shouting had attracted a small crowd, an audience to see my humiliation. Because the tears welled up in my eyes. after SAVING HIS LIFE, he chooses to thank me in this way! Only seconds had gone by until my wonderful, comforting Jacob Black found me. My little wolf. My sun. He put his arm around me defensively, and thankfully, school was over, and we walked back to our car.

What was I going to do now? I was putting our whole family in jeopardy… one semester into high school and I couldn't go through it smoothly without bumps and cracks. One day I was going to fall through one of those cracks, and I had a feeling I would drag the rest of my family down too. I had an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach… like the feeling of going down a rollercoaster, or when the teacher calls on you for an answer you don't know. I felt bad for jasper… he was probably feeling all this too… maybe that's why he'd been avoiding me a bit lately. Maybe I should apologize to him later.

I hadn't wanted to isolate myself only to my family. I wanted friends. I wanted HUMAN friends. If they didn't like me, then so be it. But I hadn't felt like I'd don't anything so far to deserve such accusation. Had I? I guess I didn't really mind what people thought about me, but I wanted people to feel safe enough to trust me, like I had trusted them… and now, no one trusted me. `

What if I went back to Washington? My hometown. I would drag Jake along… and maybe… well what would I do about Ian? I couldn't just leave him behind! I couldn't really force my family to start all over _again_… but what if that were the best way to make sure I didn't ruin any of their lives? What if I went back to Washington today? Grandpa wouldn't mind. But I couldn't do that to my family. I'd messed things up so much this far… I had to fix everything. I needed to fix the next thing that Andrea was going to throw at me. And I had no idea what that would be. None, at, all. What was I going to do now? Should I wait around and see? Or should I try to get away now, and maybe spare the rest of my family from getting hurt? Sigh.

"Jake what should I do? This is all my fault." I was so close to tears again. I was such a baby. Why couldn't I be like my strong wolf, never having to break down into tears. It seemed like I broke down every two seconds. Or maybe was it that I just kept on getting hurt?

"I'm not sure. We should just… wait and see, I suppose." So I wasn't the only one that felt completely helpless.

"What if people find out?" There was another option… I could scare Andrea in to silence. Would I really be able to do that? I tried to picture myself baring my teeth and standing in a deadly stance to scare someone. But that wasn't me. That wasn't how I was supposed to use these gifts that I had. I was someone special, and to use that as the easy way out of a problem was unacceptable. It was a corrupt way to hold on to what I had. I can't believe I even thought of that. Lately I had felt like I was a monster way too often. My thoughts were buzzing through my skull and tearing me apart. But I suppose there really was no need to keep this all to myself was there. So I waited, and waited for school to slowly pass by. So I could talk to daddy.

"Daddy…" I started, it was after school and mom and Jake were in the kitchen, with the rest of my family spread throughout the house. "I need to talk to you." I said. I knew he could read my thoughts, but I wandered what he was hearing. Probably a big blur buzzing thoughts and confusion. I saw his brows crinkle a bit in confusion as well as a response to my thoughts.

"Sure, what do you want to talk about?" he asked.

"Daddy, I've messed things up a lot. I'm sorry." Choking a bit on the lump of painful tears in my throat. Daddy was shaking his head.

"It's alright, it's alright." He said as he took my hand.

"Well see, I don't know what to do now. I've messed things up so much… are you mad with me?" I asked. He chuckled lightly.

"Of course not sweetie. I never get mad at you! It's not your fault." he tried to convince me, but I wasn't fooled.

"Oh really, then whose is it?"

"It's Andrea's fault for being a jealous person, its Jordan's fault for being an angry person. Remember that Saturday night? You saved Jordan's life, but he couldn't get passed _how_, that he was actually ungrateful. You did the right thing Renesmee. And things happen, sometimes it's no one's fault." Jake was really nice for comfort, but just like me, sometimes he had no idea what to do either. Daddy was jam-packed with more than 100 years of wisdom. Wasn't I lucky?

"So what do I do?" I asked him. This was the real question at hand.

"Well, I'll always be able to tell if she plans on telling someone, but the odds that they'd believe her are so slim, I don't really think we have to worry about that. As for the rest of the school now… I think it should be up to you whether or not you want to stay. Because, although your family… and Ian… believe you, the rest of the school doesn't. Nessie, I heard what they were thinking about you," he looked down and shook his head slightly, "no one will blame you if you want to leave."

"Then what do I do about Ian?"

"He's in a bit of a different situation. See… human parents are a little different… humans can't move because their friends are-"

"But we _love_ Ian! He's like a brother to me."

"I understand Nessie, but Ian's parents wouldn't. People move all the time… it's just life and Ian can't tell his parents what you are… they wouldn't believe him if he tried… but he loves you too, and he wouldn't do that to you."

"I can't leave Ian behind…" my voice had quieted down to a whisper. I was deeply thinking in the idea of leaving to live life without my human friend. Was it worth the entire schools hate? I didn't really care what they said about me, but I was constantly reminded of… well, I hadn't really done anything wrong… but I _felt_ guilty. Like I _had_ done something wrong. I didn't really care what other people thought about me… but it would be desirable if people didn't think I was a liar or a slut, and I definitely didn't want people thinking they couldn't trust me.

From what I had learned from all this, was that I had a lot _more_ to learn about humans.

"I have to talk to Ian about this. Until then… we'll stay." It wasn't worth the hurt to leave him behind. Not in _my_ eyes. And as long as I had Jake, and Ian, and the rest of my family, who cared what everyone else thought?

_Ring, ring, ring, ring_

I listened to the phone ring in my ear while I waited for Ian to pick up his cell phone.

"Ness?" he finally answered. My voice rang with relief.

"Ian! I need to talk to you, can I stop by your house… or the other way around… if that's ok with you." Ian hadn't been back to my house ever since he found out that my house was full of mythical creatures. Or were monsters more accurate. For me at least.

"No… that's okay, I think I remember how to get to your house." He said. Geez, I didn't think he'd want to come here. Technically, it would save gas if I ran over… but, he said yes!

"That's perfect, see you in a few." I hung up my phone and sighed in content. I'll work things out and I know it.

I waited in my computer chair for a few more content moments, until a minute later, I was impatient. I was pretty sure that most of my family heard my phone call, so they knew he was coming. Alice would have seen it anyway. There really was no privacy in my life, was there?

I ran down to the garage looking for Jake. I could hear his heart beating and his breathing, so I knew he was here. I would never have found him, but I could smell him. His legs were sticking from under one of our many, many cars when I grabbed his ankles and pulled him out.

"Hey Jakey!" I said, while standing over him.

"Hey Ness, what's up?"

"Well, see, I was talking to daddy… and I want you to keep in mind that the whole school thinks I'm a lying slut, but I called Ian over, because…" I didn't really want to explain, so I set my hand against Jake's cheek to explain my situation.

"So anyway- Ian in coming over." Yeah.

"Cool, so… wait. You need to talk to him about moving- but you won't anyway, because you know he wouldn't be able to come with us?" I laughed at the confusion of the situation. But, I guess that was pretty much it.

I sat on my front porch, waiting for Ian to pull his car up. Maybe he got lost and I should run over to the road… it was pretty chilly out… I guess maybe… 30 degrees? I was wearing a light jacket, and a warm little hat, and as I waited on my porch, little white fluffs of snow fell lightly from the sky. I watched the flakes collect on the dry grass, wondering if it would stick. I always thought the snow was fun! If not a little chilly, I loved to have snow ball fights with my family, and make snowmen. But Jake could never play, because whenever he played in the snow, it melted. I would always laugh because he would sit on the snow covered grass, and it would melt in a circle around him. With the rest of my family, they wouldn't even wear gloves or coats, and they could burry themselves in the snow and we would go looking for them.

After having been lost in my imagination, I noticed a small black car pull up near my house. He got out of his car, wearing a thick winter coat, and a scarf and gloves and boots, and I couldn't help but suppress a giggle at how bundled up he looked.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked, understanding exactly what I was laughing at.

"Nice coat." I said, with a large grin on my face.

"How come you aren't wearing one?" he asked me. I pulled him closer and set my hand against his cheek, showing him times when Alice or Emmett picked up snow, or they lied on the ground, eventually covered with a blanket of never-melting snow. "Oh. But you _do _need a little coat." He stated.

"I have a heartbeat!" that might have sounded creepy, but we both laughed, nevertheless.

"Do you like the snow Ian?" I asked him. Maybe we could go sledding sometime.

"Yeah, it's alright. Too cold though in my opinion." He said. Well, even if it were too cold, we would make it fun. "So what did you need to talk to me about?" huh? Oh! Yes…

"The whole school thinks I'm a skank!" I shouted. He seemed taken aback at the sudden switch of moods. "Jordan is your friend, am I wrong? How could he do this?" I asked him. He set one, glove covered hand behind his head, and I remembered that he must be cold. "I'm sorry, where are my manners? Come inside!" I said, before he even had a chance to answer my question. "Do you want anything? To… drink?" ha, I hadn't thought about it, but in a house full of vampires, if I were a human, I would be thinking; _drink… ummmmmm not blood please!_

"We have coke, is that okay?" I asked him, before he would be worried.

"Coke is good!" he answered quickly. I was gone and back in a flash, with a red and white coca-cola can.

"Jordan is your friend isn't he?! And he was mine too! How could be betray us like that?" I got straight to the point and he laughed a little at my bluntness.

"I just think he was really freaked out, Ness." Ian said while sipping his coke.

"Well… what if I couldn't stay here?" I asked him… I had to think of my options… in the long run, if I try and play this out, I might lose anyway? Should I quit while I'm ahead?

"w-what do you mean?" he asked, serious now.

"Jordan told Andrea everything. I- I'm not human Ian!"

"That doesn't matter to me, Andrea's too stupid to put the pieces together!" he seemed a little panicked now. But the truth was… I wasn't human… and maybe I shouldn't have kept trying to be. I should have isolated myself like the rest of my family. There was a reason they never got to close to other humans, wasn't there? But I wanted friends. Here I am! I have one of the best human friends I could think of!

"But what if Jordan isn't?" I asked quietly. "What then?" If Jordan found out, what would he try and do?

"But… then… if you left…" honestly, if my family had been in this situation, they would have moved already.

"If I left, you would go make normal human friends." I said. He head was set down, staring at his coke. I took one of my fingers and lifted his chin up so he would be looking me in the eye. "But look- you are the only friend I have ever had before. I don't want to leave you behind any more than I want my little secret to be revealed."

"So… you definitely are leaving." He said.

"I… I-I…" I think so. Ian was my only friend. I didn't want to leave him behind… but it was a selfish thing to do to my family. "Ian there is something you have to understand, there is this group of vampires in Italy called the volturi… they don't really bother us much anymore… but Ian! If a bunch of humans found out, they would…" what exactly would they do? "They would come down here and fix It." kill them? Maybe that's what they would have done once… but now?

"What do you mean 'fix it'?" he asked. I shrugged; there was no need to scare him that much.

"In whatever way they can… to make sure."

"What if we can make sure Andrea and Jordan never say or do anything? Andrea just wanted to hurt you, she's done that! Now she's in way over her head! She doesn't know what she's dealing with!"

"Ian," I shook my head sadly, "how exactly would you plan on ensuring their secrecy?" I asked him. "Whatever Andrea does now, I don't think it's only about hurting me. She knows something is up, she'll find out one day… and when that day comes… it will be too late."

So yes. I was leaving. I could hear shuffling about the house and I could remember what I said to Jacob just earlier. I told him there was only a little chance we would go. But the more I thought it through; I thought this is the best thing to do. I could feel my heart cracking into two large pieces, directly down the center, and I could feel the pain spilling out from it, but there was nothing rushing to the scene to make it heal. Nothing. It was like someone dug their nails into my fragile heart and ripped it in half. But I couldn't be so selfish.

"Ian… I love you. But I can't stay."

**so do you like? i don't really think it's the best chapter ever, but the next one will be wonderful.!**


	14. Chapter 14

**THANK YOU everyone for all the reviews, i love hearing what everyone thinks about the story. i dont mind constructive critism, though, if you dont like something about the story, i can explain it ok? some people may get ggrrrrrr-ish somewhere in the middle, but this is not a repeat of ... just read the whole thing, promise? **

I am 8 years old today. We are celebrating in Cold Bay, Alaska, with only my family, and no friends. Why, do you ask I have no friends? I learned from my experiences. I can't always have what I want. Especially when it comes to being human. I left little Elkins behind years ago, and along with it, Ian. We talk everyday on the phone, but I think we both know that we can't keep it up forever. He will always live in little Elkins, and I will move from spot to spot. Daddy told me that when we left, keeping in contact with him was the best way to go. Leaving someone behind with no forewarning as a clean break, he said that that didn't work, not at all. I miss him more and more every day. 2 years have gone by, and now, at school, I don't look for human friend. But I want it so much! I sit with my family every passing day. Today Ian called and played happy birthday for me on his guitar. I'm wondering how long I can keep this up. im a junior at the Cold Bay high school. And alone. So very alone. It doesn't make any sense though. I have all the people I need right here… Jacob, mom, dad, my aunts and uncles, and grandma and grandpa. Yet still… a little part of me feels gone. The half of my heart that had split in two years ago ached with the ghost memory of pain when the sweet, yet melancholy tune of happy birthday hummed through the strings of Ian's guitar.

Even now I felt lonely, after his call. It was so late now, the night of my birthday. I knew Jake would be asleep. I sneaked from my room, knowing that it would be heard, by all but the one I wanted right now. I opened his door quietly so I wouldn't wake him. He was asleep in his bed looking so beautiful. The moon was surprisingly shining through his window, glowing upon his earthly skin. I crawled up onto his bed and snuggled up against him until I didn't feel so lonely anymore and sank into a warmer, quiet sleep where I didn't hurt and simply pass through hours unaware and happy in my dreams.

I woke in a peaceful bliss with my one true love keeping me warm. When I woke up, I had forgotten about me sneaking into his room and it was a nice surprise when I felt his warm arm around my waist. As gently as I could, I tried to get up without waking my warm wolf, and while doing so I admired his serene face in sleep. It was when I got up that reality took its toll and the hurt came subtly back again that I figured I should have a talk with the parents. I think it's been long enough.

I exited Jake's room and called for my parents. "Mom, dad, I need to talk to you." I didn't know exactly where they were. It was in the morning of Saturday, who knows what they could be doing. It seemed to take a little longer for them to find me than it did usually, but I let it pass through my mind without another thought. Jake wasn't up yet.

"Renesmee." Mom seemed cheerful to see me and greeted me with a good-morning-hug. Daddy gave me a kiss on the cheek, already reading and assessing my thoughts. They'd known for a while now how sad I was… dad could hear it in my thoughts dripping with hurt, and jasper could feel the sadness in my heart.

"I want to go to Elkins." I wasn't real good with intros, I figured I either make it to the point or just set my hand on their cheeks. Daddy nodded his head… not quite in approval but in understanding and consideration. Mom just tilted her head to the side in thought. "I miss Ian."

Mom seemed to be concentrating really hard on something, and for some reason, I didn't think it had to do with my proposal. I didn't even want to stay that long, just… for as long as I could. Mom must have been pushing her shield from her own mind to say something to daddy that she didn't want me to hear.

"Mom! Just say it!" I begged. That was so not fair.

"We… were just thinking… we think it's been a safe amount of time… you can't go back to that school… but we don't think there's any harm in you seeing Ian. But… we think that you should know something about that boy." Mom said. Know what? What could I not know? Did Ian not want to see me?

"What momma?" I asked in concern, but I tried not to let it show. I still hear my little wolf soundly asleep in his bedroom, the smell of my skin still lingering on his.

"Renesmee, Ian loves you." mom said. Yes, I knew that, that was good. I loved him too. Dad seemed to rethink things a little before speaking again. Obviously that was supposed to have more significance?

"I know, I love him too." I said, slightly confused.

"No, Ness, we mean, is that… Ian is _in_ love with you."

Oh.

"H-how, h-h-how do you know _that?_" I asked them. This was bewildering. Perplexing. I always thought that he might find me pretty… but when all those girls said I wasn't being fair to him… I just didn't think that they meant that he _loved_ me. I just thought… I didn't know what I thought. How long has he been keeping this to himself? Years? This long… in respect because… of Jake?

"He's loved you since the first time he came to our house." Dad said.

The part of my heart that ached for Ian was burning and spinning and pounding in confusion. Had I been blind? He cared for me so much, yet in my time of doubt, I choose to doubt _him!_ He loved me, and he was _human!_ And he didn't care that I was a monster, he didn't care that I wasn't human! He was _human!_ He was a human boy, and I wasn't, and he didn't care.

The aching part of my heart felt more and more like it was ripping in two. A new, sharp pain slashing through the red flesh in my chest. I gasped with the pain. But what was this?

Such a simple concept. Love. I had it, I felt it, and I knew exactly what it was. But something about the fact that he was _human_! Maybe this part that was aching for_ Ian _wasn't aching for Ian. It was, instead, aching for the want, the extensive want to be human.

What was it that humans had that I felt like I didn't have? A lifetime? Simplicity? Normality? I didn't want to feel like a monster all the time. Sure, I was closer to human than other vampires, but still the smell of a human's blood was taunting and I felt like a predator, a monster. I was so close to being human, but it was still so far away. I was caught somewhere in-between. Not vampire, but not human. How long would it take for me to get over this fact? How long would it take for me to realize that _this_ was what I _was?_ That this was never going to change and that moping about this forever wouldn't make me any more human than I was now. I couldn't simply pretend that I was either. I had experienced trying to live with that species, the species I wanted to be so badly, but it hadn't worked. Getting too close to them… they were smarter than some vampires wished to give them credit for. Sooner or later they would figure things out and the pain that it caused me to say goodbye to them was so immense, it hardly seemed worth it. To become so close to someone, to let them trust you and share your secrets, and then leave them behind like they were dust in the wind. It wasn't fair to them, and it certainly wasn't fair to me. And I couldn't simply let every human I met learn about what I was.

More importantly… I wasn't being fair to Ian. There was nothing I could do about my imprint. I loved him more than anything. I wanted to be with him more than anything. I wasn't with Jake because I had to be, it was because I wanted it that way. If only I were human… this could just be another one of those dramatic love triangles. I had a feeling that when you really loved someone, their rejection would leave a permanent scar, so distorted and disfigured. If Ian found out that I could never return his feelings… what kind of damage would I be inflicting? I loved Ian too… but not like that. I couldn't force myself to love him like that anymore than I could stop loving Jacob.

Was it fair of me to still see him now? To go visit him, only to break his heart a little more? I knew Ian would want to see me, just as much as I wanted to see him… but… by doing so… wouldn't I be just as cruel and heartless as Andrea? Was it selfish to cast away Ian's feelings by seeing him anyway, and making it harder for him to lose the feelings that he has for me? He was human… he would forget, after a long time and find another _human_ girl.

So it was decided then. Going back to see him again was just too selfish, I couldn't bear to hurt him more just because I couldn't stand a little pain. And even if the hurt didn't go away, it would be worth it, because sooner or later, Ian would get over me, and he wouldn't hurt at all.

That night when I went to sleep, I crawled up next to my warm wolf. I needed the extra comfort at the thought that I was never going to see my best friend again.

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**ok.... so do you hate me? along with some people, i didnt really want a rerun of eclipse, that would be kind of pointless wouldn't it? ahhh... just let me know what you think. if you think about it, it makes sense. she loves _jacob_, and she doesnt _cheat_ on him because she loves him.... not like some _other_ character in the book (cough cough BELLA)**


	15. Chapter 15

**okayy! it's been a while... heh heh. anyways, i got a review about jake seeming a little out of character, and i couldn't agree more. i look back, he hardly ever speaks at all! and this IS a nessie/jacob story (and it will stay that way) well... i just don't think i'm clever enough to get any of his real jokes out there, but i tried. **

My golden locks fell out from behind my ears into my view. It was blocking. I quickly pushed them back up with one hand, while I lied on my elbow. Jacob's face so close to mine; my cheeks were burning with his heat, despite the gentle flakes of snow falling slowly around us. He was lying on his back on the porch, and even though he should be shivering in the snow, it melted above him, sprinkling us both with warm rain. Even if Jake hadn't been there, I can't say I would have been cold, but I was definitely more comfortable this way. I was lying on my side, directly next to him with the curves of my body against his. I was sitting up, propped on my elbow, my head hovering above his, blocking most of the rain from his face. I quickly looked around and laughed. There was a defined circle of melted snow around us.

Jacob saw the amusement in my face and the bell sound laugh of my voice.

"What's so funny?" he asked in a light manner.

"You're just really warm that's all." I said. The serenity of this scene was almost amusing as well. It was so much like that of the many movies I'd seen in my lifetime.

"I can warm you up too, if you want." He said, still in an entertaining attitude.

"That's a good idea; my lips are a little cold…" I trailed off in a suggestive tone. He lifted his head and propped himself up on his elbow as well, but just before our lips met, I heard something that I usually liked to wait for.

"I hear it!" I said excitedly. I got up and Jacob sighed in discontent. He thought it was stupid how I liked to wait for the delivery truck. Whenever I had the time, I would wait for it to come to see if I had any mail or packages. Usually… the only mail I got was from my family in Alaska. Jacob and I lived on our own now, in Forks. It wasn't necessarily the safest place for us to live, but I was so close to grandpa and in his current condition, it was good that we lived so close.

Ian and I still talked, but not nearly as much as we used to. He knew I lived in Forks, and he was still in little Elkins. And occasionally, he sent me mail too.

I waited anxiously as the mail man laggardly put the mail into our mailbox. When I heard that he finally finished, I ran from the porch to the end of our driveway as soon as the mailman drove away, I hurriedly grabbed the mail and looked through it. I had already gone to high school a second time, and Jacob and I wanted to go to college, so naturally, there were dozens of letters about different schools. I came across a fancy letter from dad. Savoring the mail, I opened it right there, and read the neatly scripted words. Good colleges to go to… if Grandpa Charlie was doing okay… the interesting drama between mom and Tanya. It was sweet, and not very long, so I moved on to the next letter. Surprisingly, there was another fancy letter… yet this one was not from my family. I looked at the return address to see that shockingly this letter, all done up in cursive and enclosed with a beautiful stamp was from Ian. This letter was so unusual compared to the others I'd been sent from him, and for longer than needed, I pondered the ideas of what could be hidden inside of the envelope. Carefully, trying not to rip the paper, I opened the flap of the envelope to reveal an invitation.

Jacob's heavy feet gave away his presence and I looked to him.

"We got an invitation." I said blankly, still wondering what we were invited to.

"How's that? I mean, who could have invited us to what?" he asked confusingly.

"I don't know yet…" I still stared at the front of the invitation while we walked back to the house.

When we were inside, and I was standing in the kitchen, I finally relaxed and sat at the table where I could fully inspect the mysterious letter.

I normally never had this kind of puzzling chance and I wanted it to last, so I slowly opened the invitation, inviting the dramatization.

The words I read in which what we were invited to was revealed, shocked me with emotion I had long tried to forget. The wish that Ian would remain _my_ human, while still not opening my heart to love him had passed. While I had always hoped that Ian could find his own happiness in a world which my presence would not disturb, I had never pictured something quite like this.

8 years had passed since that last time I had seen Ian's face, and with the chance reopened the seam of my heart that I had believed to be sewed up, forgotten, was bleeding at the stitches, pounding with too much force. However, to be invited to an event such as this I tried to remember the hope I had given him that this event would occur, and knowing that I had not interfered too greatly was a great relief. It helped ease the pounding.

It was strange, but this pounding did not bring _pain_ to my heart. The pounding was a result of something different, which may at first, seem like pain, but needed to be examined closer. The real pain was the flood of memories that swept back to me, memories, that I had tried to forget to save myself the anguish. But now, it was all there on the surface, and I saw everything clearly for the first time in a long time.

The adrenalin and the excitement reminded me that I might actually have the chance to see my Ian again. But I had to remind myself. He was no longer _my _Ian. And even though he never really was, he was someone else's now. The change of feelings was something I had to acknowledge.

"Ummm… so what is it?" Jacob, who had long stared at me while several different and strange emotions cascaded over me, seemed a bit concerned for my welfare. Usually, I didn't have to deal with so much all at once.

"It's a wedding invitation." I stated bleakly.

Jake saw the expression written on my face, but I felt so many different things, I wondered which he saw. "Geez, Ness, it's a wedding, not a funeral." He laughed nervously, trying to bring humor to the situation. He must have been so confused. There was absolutely no reason to be _sad_ about this.

I shook my head, trying to clear the jumble of feelings, and smiled at him.

"Sorry Jake… did you want to go?"

"Well he's your best friend right? I think he'd want you there." He looked at me as if I were insane. Did he ever know Ian's real feelings for me? Or did he always think that to be a simple crush?

"right." So we were going then. My heart raced. I looked at the date on the invitation… a month from now.

The days seemed to pass by a little slower and slower each day. Jacob noticed my distraction, and figured that it was the fact we were going to see Ian again. I couldn't help but think about it all the time. If we had gone back eight years, would Jacob have been Ian's best man? If I had never left, would Ian have ever met this girl? Something told me no. that simple little fact, that tiny aspect brought me great relief and the feeling of knowing that that choice I made so long ago _was_ the right one.

Sometimes… you wonder for so long whether a past choice was right. Sometimes you forgot the reasons why you made that choice. You doubt it. You think it was wrong. But knowing this. I had been wondering and it felt like a weight had been lifted. Eight years worth of a weight had just been lifted off my shoulders. I had made the right choice, and now, I could be happy, and Ian could be happy.

The days, however slowly they may have been passing, were cheering up for me as I looked forward to this event. Jacob, who noticed the distraction, also noticed the mood morphing from the glum to excitement, and he was happy that I was cheering up. He'd been trying everything to make me happier.

I woke up one morning next to Jake. I loved it when he slept, he looked so serene. I shook his shoulder to try and wake him up, but he just groaned and rolled over.

"It's too early." He said. I rolled my eyes and got out of bed. I walked to the other side of the bed that Jake had rolled to.

"Good morning sleepy head!" I said in a high ringing voice. He made no movement. Hmmm. I backed up until I felt the wall behind me, and when I did, I ran and jumped on him.

"Okay! Okay! I'm getting up now." he said in defeat.

I win! I went about my normal morning activities as usual. I showered, I got dressed, and so did Jake. The date on the calendar hardly passed my mind.

"What are we doing today Jake?" I asked him.

"Well… you have to buy a dress. Today. And then you should probably go hunting, because tomorrow, we're flying to Elkins." He watched the comprehension cross my face as a result of completely forgetting the date. I had been trying to not watch the time or date so much. A watched pot never boils. But it was finally here! If only Alice were here! She'd pick the best dress.

"Jake you have to come with me!" I said. I wasn't going to the mall on my own.

"Where? Hunting? Sure, sure." I shook my head with a devilish grin, and this time, comprehension crossed _his_ face.

"No, no, no, I'm not going dress shopping." I pouted my lower lip.

"Please?" I asked with the most innocent voice I could conjure up. "I would be happier if you came with me. I don't have anyone else to go!" he thought that over for a second. Technically, it was true. And he knew that.

"Fine."

"Yay!!! I clapped and grabbed his arm. We were all ready to go, so all I had to do was grab the car keys and I hopped in the car.

**kind of a stupid stop... don't worry the story isn't over yet. please review!!! i love reviews. i just want 6 more...... :)**

**--stardustfaerie87**


	16. authors note

**Sorry fellas!! I know it's been a really really long time! heh heh… yea… and um, I'm working on the next chapter… but I started writing like 4 or 5 other stories. I just had a bunch of ideas and I wanted to right them down, but this one's coming. I would also like to warn you that this story is probably coming to an end soon. I hate it when stories are just dragged on and on, and considering that Renesmee is a half vampire, they are sticking around for a while. This is just one story. Teehee! So sorry anyone if you are mad at me, but I got a few naruto stories brewing and I think that I'm really going to be done with twilight. I finished the books, and the movie (sorry anyone who liked it, but I didn't necessarily enjoy it) and it's getting kind of old. *sigh* again- sorry I've been away!**

**~stardustfaerie87**


	17. Chapter 17 last chapter

**i don't twilight, becuase if i did, i wouldn't have written new moon, eclipse or breaking dawn :) sorry if you liked it. anyway,, this is THE last chapter of this story. couldn't just leave ya hanging there. yea- i know it's kind of short, but i REALLY don't like twilight anymore. i've been writing some other stories of naruto, if you like that, then i might post them here. i don't know if i like them enough to show to the public, but if you liked this, you might like my new one. it's not ready yet, and might not be for a while. just wanted to let you all know. ~stardustfaerie87**

The plane ride was long and boring, to be expected, but I was with my Jacob, and it was entertaining enough to hold his hand and talk. I felt anxious. I couldn't believe that Ian-human Ian-was getting married. I had my dress… Jacob said that I should get something plain, and that it wasn't fair to the bride if I looked better than she did. He said that she would be jealous even if I came wearing jeans and a ripped up t-shirt.

The day finally came where I was standing in front of Ian. I thought it was never going to come, because every I got more nervous and more nervous, I could even swear that Jacob was nervous. By now, I'd realized, that in this world. There really was no perfect person. But real love, was knowing someone's defects and loving them anyway. I knew Jacob wasn't perfect, neither was I, but we both loved each other in spite of it. that's how I knew I was with the right person.

The day of the wedding and Ian was wearing a nice tux. he'd grown into his face and lost all of his baby fat. Grew a bit taller, but not by much. I had to admit he looked very nice… and so did his fiancé. She was quite pretty, brown-haired, dressed in a beautiful white dress. She didn't have the body of a supermodel, but I found it hard to imagine any person would be capable of having a perfect figure and having to eat people food _every day. _anyway, she had very pretty green eyes, and that's what I liked about her so much. in fact, when Ian introduced us, that was the first thing I said to her.

"Ian! It's been so long!" I exclaimed, a bit loudly. "you look so much older!" I told him. he gave me a hug, but instead of feeling awkward, I got a brotherly feeling from him. like I should have been punching him on the arm and drinking beers (I see people in the movies do it). his fiance's eyes flashed lightly.

"you haven't changed one bit Ness…" he said, knowing the irony. I laughed and winked and then punched him lightly on the arm. He rubbed his arm but pulled his fiancé up to meet me by the arm.

"this is Raenne." He said while looking at her. I could see he felt joy in saying her name in introduction, and that's how I knew how he felt about her. "Raenne, this is Nessie."

She didn't have much warning, but I gave her a hug and said "I'm so happy for you! you know, Ian and I used to be friends in high school?"

"yes- I've heard." She said.

"by the way, I wanted to say that you have really beautiful eyes!" I looked closer, she seemed a bit perplexed.

"th-thank you."

"Ian." Jacob pulled his hand out and Ian shook it.  
"Jake. how you guys doing? Are you guys ever planning on… well. This?" he asked Jake. Raenne and I were listening in. Jake was aware of our presence and said nothing nodded his head. my heart fluttered like a bird and I slithered my hands around Jake's arm.

When Raenne thought I couldn't hear, she whispered to him. "she's prettier than you said the was… but she seems very nice."

"she is… and you really do have beautiful eyes."

I couldn't believe it. it was just like a movie! Except I knew the actors, and these weren't people being paid to say those things to each other. I could see first-hand how much they really meant it. _kiss!_ I was thinking. After all, it would only be the perfect scene that way. he started to pull her in, but she pulled away.

"you're not even supposed to _see_ me before the wedding." She said. but I saw her lips twitch and I could tell she'd give in easy.

"I've had worse luck." He said, and then he pulled her in again for this sweet kiss.

The best part about the whole thing, was they thought no one was listening. That's how they really felt, and it _wasn't_ some silly soap. Jake was staring off into space and I held him tighter as we moved to our seats.

Ian stood at the altar, and the music started. It was a traditional wedding song that was played soft and quiet by the orchestra. We all stood as Raenne walked down the aisle. I had wisdom enough to sneak a peek at Ian's face. He looked like the luckiest man in the world. When turned back to look at Raenne, I realized that they were _made_ for each other- just like me and Jake. We didn't stay at the reception for long, but I gave Ian and Raenne my best wishes. Before we left, I took a dance with Ian and Jake danced with Raenne during that song. I insisted afterwards that I had to leave. I was fairly sure I was never going to see either of them again. It would have been nice if I did. But I could hardly pass for 20 as it was. I think Ian at least was aware of that fact. The plane ride home wasn't nearly as long. I had a lot to think about.

"Jake, did you mean what you said earlier? About marrying me one day?" I asked him. he nodded his head. I could swear his eyes sparkled for a second, but I think his eyes were just glossed over from being so tired. We were on the red-eye plane home. "Raenne was real pretty," I commented. He nodded again. My big sleepy wolf. I rested my hand on his cheek to kiss the other, but I didn't really have anything to say to him, so I simply rested my cheek on his shoulder, and he rested his chin on my head. we both fell asleep for a few hours, until the plane landed in home sweet home. I felt like we were ready to live our lives, and that this was only the beginning of our lives together. The unfortunate and fortunate events that occurred in my first few years of live granted me a lot of wisdom. Not that this is a Hollywood happy ending, it's just the beginning.

**no offense, if you did or didn't like it, but i am DONE with TWILIGHT!!!! i'm so glad it's finally OVER. again... don't hate me for saying--- everyone's entitled to their own opinion. **

**~stardustfaerie87**


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